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josephxengraver
11-16-2015, 10:42 AM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/11-16-2015/976312_001.JPG


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Audience of One
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 60 x60 cm
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
It is not quite finished,but far enough along so you can see my concept.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Any comments on how to make this a better piece will be appreciated

jessw
11-16-2015, 07:58 PM
Some things to consider:

-Compared to the three adult figures, the figure of the child in the foreground/midground is too small. This is the first thing I noticed when looking at your piece. This figure should be much larger than it appears here.

-The child's tricycle should have a cast shadow, but very little is shown in your image. The tiny bits of shadow that I do see do not read as they should.

-Are the green patches surrounded by what appears to be bricks or some kind or rock work supposed to be grass? The placement of the green space in the immediate foreground looks odd to me.

Looks like you've put a lot of work into this. I look forward to seeing the final product :)

Wassie
11-17-2015, 12:38 PM
I love the concept but the child and tricycle are way too small. I think the green in the foreground is grass but it looks like it is standing vertically instead of flat on the ground. Maybe take it out?

Apodemus
11-18-2015, 07:04 PM
On the positive side, you have some nice bright colours and the picture tells a good story.
On the negative side, your perspective is way out in virtually every area of the painting and there are too many "odd" areas like the patch of green at the front or the red area to the left of the violin player.

La_
11-19-2015, 01:00 AM
where is eye level? (http://www.artyfactory.com/perspective_drawing/perspective_2.html) http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/19-Nov-2015/84648-hmm.gif

la

josephxengraver
11-20-2015, 08:30 AM
Thank you all for your constructive and very good advise. I am also not pleased with the green center foreground, and I never noticed how odd the red color of the planter looks I have made the child taller, but think the tricycle is OK now that I have added shadow and mass to it. I will work on this more and see if I can improve it.
La the view point that I think I have chosen is outside of the painting and is( I hope) aerial. My idea is that this is a child who has been drawn to the music and is seeing for the first time where the sounds are coming from and somewhere above him his mother is keeping an eye on him.Will post pix when done.
Thanks again

josephxengraver
11-24-2015, 11:08 AM
I have worked on this some more, and I think it has improved a bit I have no idea of what else I can do to improve on it.
Again thank you for your opinions.

KolinskyRed
11-24-2015, 06:40 PM
I like the vibrant colours, and the charm of the surprised child taking in the music. Very well done! Very charming! Your painting very much captures the warmth and energy of the moment.

I feel the child appears to be a tiny adult man, and not a child due to the little fellow's proportions. Here's some tips:

Let's take the musician on the right as an average sized man. The child let's say is about one year old or a little more, maybe more towards two years old as an example. This child would be slightly taller than the musician's knee. The child's head, about two-thirds the size of the man's head. And the child's head would be very large compared to the child's own shoulder width. Unlike the man, who as an adult male has broad shoulder's compared to his own head. A small child's torso is longer to his legs (that is, his legs are very short compared to his torso, unlike the adult male). I took a try at doing these scale changes, by way of example - making sure the little child could ride the tricycle:) Of course these are averages, and the little child could be a bit smaller or a bit larger than the average sized toddler, as could the man be larger or smaller than the average sized man.

I've attached a little diagram showing proportions of differently aged males as a visual key, credit: http://www.idrawdigital.com/2009/01/drawing-tutorial-adult-child-proportions/


I hope this helps, Cheers!

KolinskyRed
11-25-2015, 12:02 PM
I was thinking of a couple of simple tweaks, as I contemplated the child:

How would it look if the perspective angle of the flower bank on the right were narrowed?

The guitarist as you've painted him is full of the energy of his playing, very well done! I wonder though, as he sways, is he a little off balance perhaps? I made an attempt to move his right leg a little.

See what you think.

I am not very good at making these changes in photoshop, so please don't take them too literally.

I have enjoyed your cheerful painting! Thank you for posting.

Cheers!

KolinskyRed
11-26-2015, 05:28 PM
opps... I think with my suggestion about the flower bed at the base of the wall: not the top line adjusted as I suggested, but perhaps the border adjusted at the bottom instead...