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La_
10-15-2015, 02:09 PM
it's a bit of a spin off of a 'my front doorbell' series that i did a bunch of years ago that focused a lot more on the door aspect as compared to this one that includes the whole neighborhood. i don't live in a city, don't like cities, but have been drawn to painting cities lately and this grew from it.

sorry it's a bit crooked, the strong line on the right(ish) IS actually true vertical.

anyway, what should i change, it doesn't seem done to me but i don't know what else to do ...

thanks!

18x24, oils

la

joelaidler101
10-16-2015, 08:20 AM
Love this.

graphicali
10-16-2015, 09:40 AM
Love the colours and the, not so simple, simplicity. Does it need people? I like it without but then I don't like cities either.

La_
10-16-2015, 12:27 PM
thanks joe, =)

people, ha, thank you for planting that seed, i seriously hadn't even thought to include people [i don't like them much these days either]
but it might need them, it is a city scene afterall, but then does it need cars and busses and smog?!
tsk, maybe i shouldn't have parked my front door in a city
pondering that, hmm hmm hmm

la

PushingPixels
10-16-2015, 01:10 PM
very serene piece, i like it!

Gollator
10-18-2015, 07:32 AM
there is a lot of potential here and it is certainly worth picking it up. Maybe people are leading the way, but they should not carry the weight of responsibility for finishing the canvas. A city that does not do what we would expect, i.e., being crowded, might also make a strong statement, personally, I would add some gleaming shades without faces.

I think though that the buildings and streets in themselfes could use some more tweaking.

I am stumbling over the grayish building to the left as it is essentially the same gray as the sky. Maybe a hint of turquise or purple to give it some character? Also, its dark and light-negligent front contradicts the wonderful red buildings... which must not be a bad thing, but as a viewer I would hope for a hint given why this might be the case.

Almost all objects have a small outline on either side, not necessarily continuous, yet the trees (especially the green one, the white one on the left side) don't have such things. To me, this destroys some depth that you create, as this shortage of contours feels like it is far away (like the buildings in the back) yet it is the foremost object in here.

I don't understand the stairs... not that I have to, and I am quite aware that stairs in itself are, like doors, metaphoric entities that can stand on their own and don't need a purpose. Should it lead somewhere, though?

There is a faint hint of reflection of the building contours on the yellow spot in the very lower left which makes me believe I am staring at a liquid?


(you know me long enough that you read implicit "IMHO" and "this is already awesome, maybe just..." disclaimers, right?)

La_
10-18-2015, 12:28 PM
Excellent critique, Daniel, Thank you. Knowing where it trips up/confuses the viewer is exactly what i needed.

will get back to ya ...

la

birdhs
10-18-2015, 01:58 PM
I musta missed this when it was first posted...

Daniel certainly did a thorough critic, but sometimes buildings are gray and dull.
If I had a suggestion it might be to adjust that lower left corner unfinished spot of offwhitishness to something, perhaps the back of the heads of several folks contemplating whether to go up the steps or down the street.

this has a mysterious feel to it
i like mysteries

greggo

La_
10-19-2015, 03:11 PM
thanks greg

tidied it up a bit

notions for further tidying always welcomed

la

Gollator
10-19-2015, 03:18 PM
small changes, big improvement. kudos!

birdhs
10-19-2015, 11:42 PM
somehow it seems jes a tiny beet moodier

graphicali
10-20-2015, 03:36 AM
I love what you have done with the trees at the front, lovely!