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TerryCurley
09-30-2015, 05:49 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/09-30-2015/1966386_small_Ocean_Scene.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Ocean Scene
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 11 x 14
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
Slightly hazy day on the ocean.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Would appreciate a critique. How could I have improved the composition?

Andrewcody
09-30-2015, 06:10 PM
Possibly by making the ship more of the focus rather than the rock?
Regards
Andrew

lunchbox
09-30-2015, 08:22 PM
You have such a nice wave action going there! Think that the splashes of water and the rocks are your center of interest. IMHO I'd take out the ship altogether, it pulls the eye too much away from the rocks so that the eye doesn't know where to settle to admire. Perhaps a small rock, center far right, to keep us in the panting and lead the eye back to the larger rocks.

Dee350
09-30-2015, 08:27 PM
You have followed the Rule of Thirds for your focal point (the rock) the light colour of the ship creates a sense of distance. As well there is movement in the crashing waves. A great job ..... I would prefer a less blue water but that point is subjective.

TerryCurley
09-30-2015, 09:09 PM
Possibly by making the ship more of the focus rather than the rock?
Regards
Andrew
UH......the ship was an afterthought definitely not a focus point.

Mark Szymanski
10-02-2015, 03:27 PM
It is interesting you used a steelyard balance for the composition here. The large weight is near and the smaller weight is in the background. Nice. The sun is about right, location works okay - it's not in the center, and above the horizon an interesting amount. The split between rock, water and sky are all different, good. The seagulls help you transition from rock to sky to cloud to ship which is a nice transition. Many good things happening here.

I think there are some opportunities which have been overlooked which could take this to the next level. Thinking about the shadows cast by the different things could help. For example, the sun is behind the rock, so the rock will cast a shadow. It casts a shadow both upon itself (the side nearest the viewer) and also on the water splashing up on it and running off it. That water will be darker than the water in the light.

I would also consider adding some foam to the water. All of that crashing waves will churn the water into foam especially in the foreground. With the amount of energy you're communicating in paint, the water will be almost completely white with foam in the foreground (not pure white, but certainly not the blue water) which will give you an opportunity to add more graceful lines and perspective to help lead the eye around the painting.

I think the ship should be smaller, it carries too much weight into the background, and the ship could also be less dark because it is so far away from you.

I'll PM you with a possible idea or two.

Andrewcody
10-03-2015, 12:26 AM
It is a sailing ship, driven by the wind.
So is the pennant.
Look at it, think about that fact.
If it is an after thought I would remove the ship.
Regards
Andrew

TerryCurley
10-03-2015, 12:28 PM
Added shadows from the rocks. There are lots of other great suggestions but I don't feel comfortable doing it on this picture but will store in my long term memory for the next one.