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Donny Seib
09-10-2015, 03:47 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/09-10-2015/1975415_Boys_of_Autumn2.gif


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Boys of Autumn
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 36 x 24
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
This is one I just finished. I'm currently working on a couple to go along with this. One of kids playing baseball and another with a bunch of kids hanging around the swimming hole. Trying to remember youth is fun....ha ha!

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
What do you think? It's going into a show next month. Is $600 too much to ask?

La_
09-10-2015, 04:29 PM
I don't know if you've ever jumped from rock to rock on a river, but that kid is likely going to break a leg when he slips!
picky logic perhaps, but i'd put his lead foot lower.

$600 - not knowing where in the world you are, No one can answer that. Check your local market, it varies by every country/state/city/town/villiage

la

Mark Szymanski
09-12-2015, 10:29 AM
I think the prices you can ask are highly regional, and in your area, this might be fine; in my area, you'd be pushing the price a bit.

I think you have some composition and balance issues within this piece. There is a definite balance point within it located at the mid point of the painting. This is acting as a fulcrum and the two sides aren't balancing properly.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/12-Sep-2015/1765836-Left_Crop_1.jpg

Split at the mid-point, the Left side has some issues, but pretty well sets itself without the right, on its own. There are some issues with business, but with some simplification you can manage them.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/12-Sep-2015/1765836-Rt_Crop_1.jpg

The right half perhaps less so. If you separate the two halves like this you can sense all of the leading lines pushing you deep into the background. The point in the background has nothing to do with the kids in any way. These lines are so forceful, it is easy to jump right past the children and go straight into the far distance. The subject of the painting, the eye isn't drawn to immediately. Which child is the important one? The grouping on the shore is kind of awkward, with having one leg and part of a red shirt poking out from the kid with the blue shirt... kind of looks like the kid in the blue shirt has three legs or arms.

Perhaps some adjustment to the escarpment of rock leading along the right hand side of the picture could be done. When painting rock, I try to remember the rock was laid down eons ago and then was thrust upward at an angle - and after all of that, it starts to erode. This means rock has an angle which describes mass at rest rather than thrust in action. The lines you've given the rock almost describe a wave. It is almost a wall of rock, maybe think about breaking the line a bit more.

I would consider lowering the chroma of some areas so the areas of high chroma have can be used as accents. When everything is high chroma it makes it difficult to see accents of color. For example you have a highly colored foliage, against a highly colored river/lake, and highly saturated shirts on the kids. It makes it difficult to sort out which area you're directing the eye to... all are calling out for attention. Kind of like if you're in a room full of shouting people, it's hard to hear someone calling your name.


Maybe consider simplifying the lower Left foreground rocks... the shapes are rather similar, and all of the colors seem pretty similar. The shadows are too dark (at least from the photo). These shapes are competing for the attention away from the kids.

Lastly, consider tying the child jumping with some sort of line or accents back to the group of kids on the shore. The rocks in the water would look better if they're arranged into a pattern rather than randomly placed. I agree with la, the child in the river with the positioning of the legs gives too much energy into the painting.

I sent you a pm, with my suggestions in a digital alteration.

jessw
09-13-2015, 01:16 PM
Mark, I would love some clarification on some of your comments.

You mention that the two sides of the painting do not 'balance'. I would have thought that the dense mass of trees on the far left would have balanced with the mountain on the right and that the grouping of children on the left would have balanced with the jumping child on the right. How does this picture not balance?

I understand and agree with your comments about the leading lines on the right side of the picture. They lead your eye past the focal point and into the background.

You also mention "consider tying the child jumping with some sort of line or accents back to the group of kids on the shore". Would not the rocks that connect the children on the shore with the jumping child be that 'accent'?

I agree with all of your other comments. It seems to me that you are quite experienced in the area of composition. I am most eager to understand these concepts more fully.

Mark Szymanski
09-13-2015, 06:50 PM
Mark, I would love some clarification on some of your comments.

You mention that the two sides of the painting do not 'balance'. I would have thought that the dense mass of trees on the far left would have balanced with the mountain on the right and that the grouping of children on the left would have balanced with the jumping child on the right. How does this picture not balance?

I understand and agree with your comments about the leading lines on the right side of the picture. They lead your eye past the focal point and into the background.

You also mention "consider tying the child jumping with some sort of line or accents back to the group of kids on the shore". Would not the rocks that connect the children on the shore with the jumping child be that 'accent'?

I agree with all of your other comments. It seems to me that you are quite experienced in the area of composition. I am most eager to understand these concepts more fully.

I sent you a PM, detailing my thoughts a bit more. I am not certain I should keep dissecting on the boards about his very wonderful painting without his permission, since he hasn't responded at all so far.

Composition is something many, including myself, don't understand as well as we should. The last few years I have endeavored to figure out some of the principles of composition. There are a few good books out there, and some really bad books out there on the subject. So I read a lot, and talk with others who are as curious about the subject as I am, though I don't think of myself as particularly knowledgeable.

Donny Seib
09-15-2015, 10:18 AM
Thanks Mark, and jessw....I guess I need to rethink my price and, better yet, put some more work into this piece.
I do understand what you're saying about the balance. I actually added the mountains and the reflections of them in an attempt to something like that. I really was not trying to direct the viewer to the children. I kind of was hoping the eye movement would be drawn more across the whole painting, kind of spiraling into it. Sorta/kinda like the curve similar to that of a golden ration curve. Like this: http://media.creativebloq.futurecdn.net/sites/creativebloq.com/files/images/2012/10/fibonaccispiral.jpg
Sounds kinda stupid huh? Oh well....back to the drawing...err, the easle!