PDA

View Full Version : Evening Stroll


Cujo Sjoberg
06-23-2015, 12:25 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/06-23-2015/1972516_EveningStroll2.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Evening Stroll
Year Created:
Medium: Acrylic
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 16
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
Any comments appreciated. I am trying to improve.
This is my first post for critique, so constructive criticism only please. I started with white canvas, black gessoed over it.


MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
No specific questions, just need feedback. Too dark maybe?

Bevahlee
06-23-2015, 06:31 PM
I like this whimsical piece. I have tried to show a few things that might be worked on. The woman's shoulder and the too white lights in the distance.
Keep it up. You'll get some good help here. The perspective of the buildings is a bit off, but so were many of the impressionists'

La_
06-23-2015, 06:55 PM
very van gogh
not too dark, but maybe too blue
it's night so that gets tricky, night is blue
freshly rained upon too, wet is blue
the bits of red and yellow helps tremendously
but what if her dress was cream or grey or red or green and his jacket brown or black ... and what if the foreground light glowed a little more, shimmered on the street a little more ... these little foreground details help push the background further down the street - tho i do note that you've chosen what i assume to be their destination, as a center of interest in that you've added the most detail there ... it's all a push and pull thing, centers of interest, i think you've got it mostly figured out. so yeah, too blue, or not too blue, you decide, i'm just rambling.

la

Mark Szymanski
06-25-2015, 05:22 PM
Fun subject matter, and always interesting to paint on black gesso...

I like how you've varied the buildings, none are quite like any other. Differing textures, shapes, materials all help to keep the eye moving and interested. Having the lighting coming from high up on the building rather than from some sort of street lighting is unusual for a painting of this type. The street lamps give you the opportunity to have shadows and lines to break up certain outlines in the structures. There are no trees, statues or landscaping within the painting so we're dealing with an urban environment. With all the building textures, they become a focal point within the painting, and you've done pretty well with that.

I would suggest a few things to you. The sizes of the different structures are changeable. If this is something you've chosen to do for artistic reasons, then fine, that is up to you. If it was something you overlooked then perhaps an adjustment might be called for. The problem I am having is the people in this painting are too big; the block too much of the structures which allow you into the painting. They are also too large for the sizes of the buildings, they couldn't walk inside of them.

Another issue is your variable perspective. Again, if you've done it for your own artistic reasons, then that's up to you. The lines which should meet on the horizon aren't, the lines seem to like to be pointed wherever. Some folks don't mind that sort of suspension of reality, so if it doesn't bother you, go for it. The road and sidewalk in the foreground are one of these issues... the road is only wide enough for the couple to walk in, and there isn't enough space on the opposite sidewalk for anyone to walk. The couple if they walked directly across the street will have to stoop to see in the window.

I must wonder if the color is recorded accurately, I suspect this looks much different in person. Perhaps making the time of day just a bit earlier, like after the sun sinks below the horizon, and the sky is darkening towards night but is still light enough to shed some color. Maybe it is light enough in the sky to illuminate some of the ground. If you have a bit more light in the sky, you can have a more interesting and subtle ground plane. The four windows in the distance are a bit too repetitive and even, a bit of variance here and there might be something to consider.

I fooled around with the image for a few minutes and made some changes, mostly shrunk the people and moved them around a bit in the painting. You can see how much smaller they'll need to be to get through the doorways. I lightened the sky and adjusted some of the perspective lines on the areas I had to replace once I moved the folks around. I have created a poor composition with my experiments, you shouldn't think I am espousing this particular work up - it was more to illustrate sizes of the folks at different distances than anything else. I did adjust the perspective of the sidewalk on the left, and moved the buildings back a bit, and clumsily adjusted a few things, and done poorly at the changes too.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/25-Jun-2015/1765836-Untitled2.jpg

Nice job on a merry painting, you've done well.

Bevahlee
06-25-2015, 06:14 PM
that's a very nice fix Mark. Lovely.

Cujo Sjoberg
06-25-2015, 06:47 PM
Thanks for all your suggestions, I will consider all of them. This painting is sitting on a back burner for now. Too many new ideas going on in the summertime. When I get around to adjusting it, Ill repost. Thanks again.