View Full Version : #1 rules for men... LOL

10-10-2003, 11:04 PM
Are they allowed to have rules? LOL.

We always hear "the rules" from the female side... Now here
are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note, these are all numbered "1" on purpose!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If
it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You
don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing
of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to
think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious
hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost
every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving
it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends
are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after
7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and
if one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the
other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how
you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to
do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither
do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Peach, for example,
is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will
act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is
just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you
wear is fine... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun
formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape... Round is a shape.
1. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but
did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

I had a good laugh at this - hope you did too!


Eugene Veszely
10-11-2003, 01:30 AM
LOL ...Not all men are like that !!! ;) :)

Marty C
10-11-2003, 02:29 AM
Too funny, lots of times too true! and boy you'll get flak for posting that! Hah!
Its funny that women always ask us if their clothes look OK, as if anyone who would wear a T shirt and jeans with sneakers 24/7 has any dress sense!!!:D

10-11-2003, 02:56 AM
I once dated a man who was so tidy he pinned his socks together after taking them off. This way they wouldn't get separated in the wash. Wow, what a romantic interlude booster...not.

10-11-2003, 04:09 AM
Now, learning that a guy ? pins his socks together is like INTIMATE KNOWLEDGE . Was this from on the job learning or just idle conversation . If the latter, what the hell were you talking about washing socks for. ?. The mind boggles.
Billyg :D :evil: :angel:

10-11-2003, 01:31 PM
LOL TJ ........thanks for the giggle.

And I'm with you billyg -boggled !!!!!!!!!!!! :D

10-11-2003, 01:37 PM
LOL...one score for the boys!:D

10-11-2003, 02:06 PM
Thankyou TJ - hope the wife understands when I pin this up in the kitchen :D


Alan Cross
10-11-2003, 02:13 PM
LOL but I have to agree not all men are like that.... :D
Alan :)

10-11-2003, 03:30 PM
Originally posted by Yorky
Thankyou TJ - hope the wife understands when I pin this up in the kitchen :D


No Doug DON'T do that:D...you might find she 'booby traps' the toilet seat.
It's surprising what a strong spring can do!! LOL:evil:

Ivy's Mom
10-12-2003, 05:25 PM
Originally posted by ginatec

No Doug DON'T do that:D...you might find she 'booby traps' the toilet seat.
It's surprising what a strong spring can do!! LOL:evil:

OMG Gina, I never thought of that. And I know where there is such a spring. :evil: :clap: :D

10-12-2003, 05:50 PM
LOL you guys are funny!

pins his socks together? My MIL dated someone who actually numbered his socks in pairs and rotated them around for each wearing. Of course he used a blow dryer on his feet before bed too...

thats just to much info for me! LOL

Uhh Yorky... let us know how it goes ok? LOL!

and Alan, this was courtesy of my brother, he finds himself amusing! ;) I, of course don't think all men are like this :evil: