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Mettaphorica
05-24-2015, 06:11 AM
Hi all

Am about to enter my 2nd show. I am submitting 3 entries in a category called, "Little Treasures." Some of you have seen two of these paintings as WIP's and have helpfully commented. Before I take them for framing, I am looking for final possible improvements. Although 2 of these have appeared her before, they make up a theme, and I wanted to share them as a group. Here they are:

Title: 'The Littlest Grapevine' - thanks to Robert for the idea for the title. In another thread for to this painting, he observed that they looked like they were chatting, so that inspired the title, so thank you, Rob! C&Cs welcome. I should note that the bottom beam of the barn is not crooked in my painting; this is what happened with Photoshop crop, it was slightly at an angle ( I only noticed this once I uploaded it here).


http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/24-May-2015/979263-IMG_4872edited.jpgTitle: My Little Treasure #1.The next painting has also had its own thread, apart from the few rocks in the left hand side, I consider this finished unless anyone has anything else to suggest.
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/24-May-2015/979263-IMG_4869edited.jpgTitle: My Little Treasure #2. The last one hasn't had its own thread. I wasn't going to enter this painting, I didn't think it was working out. I had not drawn attention to it (usually I show my husband what I have been working on) as I thought it was not working, however, he noticed it of his own volition and commented that he really liked it.

It was at the stage where I only had the dark chick in, not the other two. He made the observation that he loved the hen's stance - that it was almost regal - and the expression, and the spread wings. He even liked the background - which I don't think is working - and he said that once I got the other chicks in, he thought it would look good. So because of his comments, I started on it again and I consider it done unless there are suggestions.

I am not at all pleased with the hen's feathers, but...ce la vie. So I am hesitant to submit it, however he loves it (and he's not the sort to say he likes something just because I did it), so I am open to comment on this one. If it's really no good, I will pull it rather than show it.
thanks all
Donna

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/24-May-2015/979263-IMG_4870edited.jpg

Still-trying
05-24-2015, 06:34 AM
Donna, I'm hearing you say that you are happy to show the first two paintings. I would go with my feeling if I were you. Wait until the hen with the three chicks makes you feel certain about it.
Good for you for showing. Your work is lovely.
Jay

DAK723
05-24-2015, 06:59 AM
These are lovely paintings! In my opinion, the third painting works as well as the others and I see no reason not to submit it! Good luck!

Don

madijen
05-24-2015, 08:40 AM
They are all wonderful.

robertsloan2
05-24-2015, 11:49 AM
I can see two things in the hen painting that might be nagging at you. One, the background could be gradated with more light at the top right because that's where I see the diffuse light coming from. Two, the hen could have some modeling shadows and cast shadows even if they are diffuse and slight. Glazing them over the detailed feathers might be tricky.

But if she was mine that's what I'd be doing. The middle chick's bright white body would only be that bright if they're lit by flash from right in front of them - which is the effect the painting has now. That might be what's bothering you about it - it's true for if the light comes directly from viewer but side lighting might make it really snap and give more depth and rounding. Even if diffuse.

Or just enter it as is since it's true for front lighting. I'd still shade the background vertical in the gradient if it's straight forward lighting.

water girl
05-24-2015, 01:25 PM
Robert has made some good points. I would enter all three. You can never anticipate what a juror is looking for. Best of luck and let us know what happens.

Nick7
05-24-2015, 04:20 PM
:) I really like the first two.

With the hen, I am not sure about the legs LOL. (Which one belongs to who). And about the proportion of the hen's body - probably because what Rob mentioned. I would expect the hen to be sitting with her body being so wide.
I am not sure, so please feel free to ignore my comments.

Good luck!!! :)

sketchZ1ol
05-26-2015, 01:25 PM
hello

i'm don't know much about bird anatomy or behavior , particularly - blinking .
> that is my guess as to the absence of eyes in paintings 1 and 3 ,
especially heads near frontal and 3/4 turn .

my thought is that if there are winks ,
the outline(s) of the eye socket need to be clarified , at the least .
( don't know your sticks/substrate(s) - hope it's not a problem )

the subject/scenes are very appealing :)

if there is a jury of entry , consider my comments as the ' drawing school ' person which could easily be outvoted . :rolleyes:

hope this is useful .
have fun . :)

Ed

Mettaphorica
05-26-2015, 07:39 PM
Thank you all for your observations and feedback. Based on suggestions/observations, I have done the following:

Lightened part of the background using the violet blue and gradated (word?!) it to the darker area (Rob)

I added a slight line of highlight on the very edge of the hen on her right hand side, as if the light were on her(Rob, I think is what he meant!)

I lowered her a bit by adding more feathers underneath and raising the floor straw. (Nik) so she's a little more squat, and also removed one of the legs as you were right, too many and too confusing.

Added a profile eye to the white chick, although this was not visible in the source photo, I can see what you (Ed) mean about looking like a non-eye. Too late to do anything about the chick in the first painting, it's at the framers.

Still have a few hours up my sleeve for any more changes if anyone suggests anything!
thanks again all
cheers
Donna

Here's the update:
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/26-May-2015/979263-IMG_4957edited.jpg

pastel65
05-27-2015, 07:29 PM
All wonderful. Good luck! Pam :wave:

mudfish
05-27-2015, 07:44 PM
Be very careful about soliciting help on pieces you intend to show! All shows have a rule that submissions must be done without instructors or other help; and there is always one fool who will search. I have 3 friends who unwittingly did the same and ended up having to hire lawyers, not to mention the public humiliation. Art is a small world.

raxu
05-28-2015, 02:41 AM
If you ask me, they are all winners :)

robertsloan2
05-28-2015, 09:54 AM
Thank you all for your observations and feedback. Based on suggestions/observations, I have done the following:

Lightened part of the background using the violet blue and gradated (word?!) it to the darker area (Rob)

I added a slight line of highlight on the very edge of the hen on her right hand side, as if the light were on her(Rob, I think is what he meant!)

I lowered her a bit by adding more feathers underneath and raising the floor straw. (Nik) so she's a little more squat, and also removed one of the legs as you were right, too many and too confusing.

Added a profile eye to the white chick, although this was not visible in the source photo, I can see what you (Ed) mean about looking like a non-eye. Too late to do anything about the chick in the first painting, it's at the framers.

Still have a few hours up my sleeve for any more changes if anyone suggests anything!
thanks again all
cheers
Donna

Here's the update:
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/26-May-2015/979263-IMG_4957edited.jpg

This is wonderful! I hope the rules don't prohibit critique from friends, because that's exactly what I was talking about. You got the dual lighting now and that gives depth, pulls the birds forward and makes the hen rounded.

I love her expression. She looks so worried! Like she just heard a dog bark or a cat yowl, something that's a threat to her chicks whether it really is or not! Gorgeous! I hope you win!

jritner
05-28-2015, 10:17 AM
Nice work! Good luck!