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trytopaint
03-28-2015, 04:03 PM
Hello All,
Would love to have some serious critique on this painting I did last week. I feel something is wrong with it and some things are right but I cannot decide. Would appreciate some ideas. Sorry it's a tad blurry.
Thanks
Ron

(Here's a straightened version of your picture - also tried to sharpen it a little :) It shows first because it's uploaded rather than attached!
Charlie's Mum)

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/28-Mar-2015/30494-ron_try_to_paint.jpg

trytopaint
03-28-2015, 04:05 PM
Sorry, it was hard to get a straight sharp picture.
Ron

Charlie's Mum
03-28-2015, 04:20 PM
Ron, welcome here!
First of all you do have some really good painting here - each aspect shows good observation and brushwork and a good understanding of form and light.
All of those are 'right'!

What the painting lacks, I think, is a focal point, a point of interest, something to engage the viewer.
It's a tranquil scene - this is because it's largely horizontal banding, which promotes calmness, serenity ..... but you need verticals and maybe diagonals also, to inject movement and dynamism; to set up tensions; to invite us to enter the painting!
These could be made from trees, paths, people, fences, streams - anything suitable which will bring the eye from the edge of the picture towards a viewpoint/focal point.

Add those - even on a computer image printed out - and see the difference!:)

cliff.kachinske
03-28-2015, 04:25 PM
Charlie's Mum hit the main point. These are just details by comparison.

To my eye the far edge of the meadow jumps forward a little bit. It recedes very well most of the way back but I think it's a bit too contrasty with reference to the dark greens and blacks just above it.

That's not so much true near the left edge of the painting, but as you move to the center and right it becomes more pronounced.

The color of the cloud shadows on the right side of the painting seem more harmonious than on the left.

trytopaint
03-28-2015, 05:41 PM
Thank you both, I will study it and check into your ideas. I really appreciate it. Do either of you or anybody else see the background "brown" mountains as being to close? Maybe a glaze of green or blue to push it back. How bout the lighter blue sky on the left (which I felt might be too distracting.
Ron

Jon Bradley
03-28-2015, 08:19 PM
First off, Great painting!

I'm sort of composition blind, so the others' input is likely more valuable there, but the only things that stand out to me are some lack of highlight definition in the trees to break up the visual pattern, but you were working with the tree's complementary in the innards which looks very nice!

I'd second a nice, warm, figure in the foreground. It'll open the image right up!

You might consider keying in the sky a little more with a warm gray scumble or wash. It could improve your atmosphere.

Great work on the mountains and great painting!

Fox_eNova
03-28-2015, 08:28 PM
Added a vocal point. Quick and dirty rendering. :lol:
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/28-Mar-2015/1714334-field.jpg

Jon Bradley
03-28-2015, 08:41 PM
Boom! Popped right open!

trytopaint
03-28-2015, 09:06 PM
Fabulous help and ideas,,, thanks.

maryinasia
03-28-2015, 09:31 PM
personally I like it as is

chammi kaiser
03-29-2015, 12:07 PM
The colours are just fabulous . Love them. An old rotting tree trunk somewhere in the foreground would also work. Looking forward to seeing what you come up with.

Raymo
03-29-2015, 03:45 PM
.....or a nude female running through the wheat field. That always perks up a painting.

amdaoh
03-30-2015, 05:16 PM
I love this just the way it is... but I can't help but imagine a scene from the Walking Dead where there is this beautiful field and a lone walker aimlessly wandering through it. LoL!

I say sign it.

airplanz
03-30-2015, 06:43 PM
First thing that came to mind when I saw this was Wyeth's "Christina's World".

+1 on Raymo's suggestion, but the figure could be reclining rather than running ;) .


Jim (airplanz)

DizzyD
03-30-2015, 07:56 PM
Very nicely done, everything from the edge of the trees on back is perfect. i agree with the others, the foreground needs something, the fence on an angle is good idea. you might also try a bit more tonal gradient in the field itself

Don

ColinS
03-31-2015, 12:30 AM
Beautiful rich colour and great painting. The foreground is a little empty looking.

trytopaint
04-01-2015, 11:02 AM
Thanks, I'll look again.