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obanya
07-11-2013, 07:58 AM
Hi, not sure what direction I want to go in with my general subject matter. Would like to produce paintings that evoke an emotional response. In the meantime, I need to produce a series of paintings quickly so this is the first. Your comments and critques welcome as always! Would this work better with a jogger or other figure in it?
Thanks
Anna

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/11-Jul-2013/1185659-Lyckeby-lilypads.jpg

elisehbeck
07-11-2013, 06:33 PM
It's gorgeous! That was my first emotional response. My second emotional response was that it's very colour-saturated. Personally speaking I'd like to see more desaturated colours, especially in the water and at the edges and non-focal parts of the painting.

cheers
Elise

p.s love your gauguin quote

bocote
07-11-2013, 06:37 PM
For this painting I don't feel a jogger would help the composition.

This is an okay painting, but there are some things I think are worth while to critique on. Firstly your palette is very strong which is perfectly fine, but you also have mudding of the strongest reds and greens over blue with tube white over. Second is composition and form design; the houses are symbolic and feel as such. The title of the work has me wanting the lily pads to be the subject, but instead they are mudded out and have to compete with 1/2 a boat and a row of houses with furious strokes in foreground. The painting is showing as rushed, but I there is some excitement in construction I see.

With this style I think your subject should be something with less lily pads and houses and more people within places or situation.

obanya
07-14-2013, 04:48 PM
Thanks Elise! I take your point about the saturation and it's helpful to for me to perhaps consider this more as I tend towards quite strong colour choices.

Thanks for your critique bocote. I agree that the painting is not about the lilypads and though only a working title it is not really suitable. I am interested that you say the painting feels rushed and wonder if you would think that of some of my other work. Though I need to produce some paintings for a deadline, I did not feel I rushed it. I want to work in people to my comps in the future but quite not there yet!

dgford
07-15-2013, 07:51 AM
Divide this into a roughly 3x3 grid and then evaluate what is in each section. You soon notice that the top (therefore furthest) sections have greater tonal contrasts --- and this is usually reserved for the nearest parts of your composition.
This suggests that the bottom three sections of the grid should have the lightest lights and the darkest darks; and the brighter colours.

Putting it simply, I would make the nearest boat much crisper and the lily-pads alight with sunshine. Put highlights to the buoy and define the paving along the bottom with a clear far edge.

It would be a painting of strengths, bold colours and real punch --- which I think matches your outlook? I hope it helps.

These are only personal suggestions but may get you to think of other treatments available. btw, in this one, I don't think people are necessary.

Geoff

bocote
07-17-2013, 04:25 PM
Sorry for late reply. I checked some of your paintings on facebook. I could give nearly the same critique for them as this work. Mudding, composition issues, hazard stroke.

Good luck with your deadlines. Think about what your brush is doing as its going down - painting is often a release, but I feel the most interesting paintings show both discipline and the artist's view.

have fun,