PDA

View Full Version : The Next building


Mikey
09-11-2003, 02:34 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/09-11-2003/28043_next_small.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: The Next building
Year Created: 2003
Medium: Acrylic
Surface: Board
Dimension: 24x18
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
My lack of life drawing shows a bit here, but the girl is quite small and the man tall. Maybe I will include more paving for the perspective. With architecture I find it much more difficult to get the loose, flowing brushwork easily possible with landscapes, or still life. I think the figures are necessary.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
I'm just looking for comments as to how I can improve my work, including any of the things mentioned above.

Paintonbrush
09-11-2003, 03:17 PM
The form will come.
Being aware is the biggest step to seeing yourself through
that aside, building parts are exciting and well done, figures in window clever too.
Your mans face needs to be more clear or very unclear...
see what others say - even my own children dont listen to me...;-)

giniaad
09-11-2003, 05:14 PM
how about keeping the man
and not the woman

he is framed well in the scene
(pertaining to building and lighting)
she distracts from the buildings form
which you have so nicely done
and also with the overall flow of the composition

I also like the sun and shade aspects
and city plated trees with their grates

Mikey
09-11-2003, 06:27 PM
Now that would solve a problem. I mean taking the woman out. Nothing I'm going to do will make her look better.

HRobinson
09-11-2003, 06:48 PM
Need more time to appraise this one. I got two threads confused and couldn't delete this one.

-Harry

capricorne
09-12-2003, 05:22 AM
I think that when painting figures in a painting one can do two things, or just indicate the figures, or to work them out. Something in between doesn't work I think. Good figures in cityscapes you can see by John Yardley and Gerald Green. See my site for the url's.
That beside, your figures are well done I think, but the are in between, I think..
Jan

Mikey
09-12-2003, 05:34 AM
Here I've taken the girl out with Photo Paint.

giniaad
09-12-2003, 11:25 AM
I think this works much better...


upon further inspection
I notice something a bit out of wack

the pillar behind the tree on our right
looks out of proportion to the rest
(larger...carrying it more forward and out of line
visually, I am following the yellow across the top
and the bottom placement of the pillar looks forward)

I do like its roundness
which should be carried out in the others

keep going!...

Mikey
09-12-2003, 11:43 AM
It's a funny Dutch style building, you've got to admit. The right hand columns are round and the ones on the left flattish. Also everything is different. I think I'd have an easier time using oils for the blending.

Mikey
09-12-2003, 12:29 PM
Now I've tried it in Photo Paint again. The right hand column is obviously fat, being a major part of the supporting structure of the building. However, the real problem is my own laziness with the colour. It really is amazing how a slight change in colour can make a bif difference.

Thanks

Mikey

Ginette
09-12-2003, 12:52 PM
Great call by Giniaad.... much better without the extra figure.

Ginette

dornberg
09-12-2003, 12:57 PM
i like the light and dadow shapes

giniaad
09-12-2003, 01:49 PM
I am also talking about its placement
should not the base be on the same plain
as the column by the window?

following the (upper) yellow line of the building
it is lined up
the base is not

??

Mikey
09-12-2003, 02:05 PM
I didn't retouch the central flat column properly which makes it look a lot worse I suppose. On checking the original painting it is an eigth of an inch out on a 24x18 painting and doesn't seem to notice. It is a bit sloppy of me all the same. A very bad attitude. I always think if I put anything less than 100% into the work then medicority results. This must have been a real off day.

I felt that I had missed out on potentially good painting, now more becomes clear. Thanks for the comments.

Mikey

pero lane
09-12-2003, 03:15 PM
Much better without the female figure Mikey! Another point to ponder....it may just be me.... but it seems the male figure will have to alter his course a little so he doesn't collide with the tree.:D

Mikey
09-12-2003, 04:07 PM
I don't believe he did. He must have missed it by inches though.

Mikey

Rieko
09-12-2003, 04:38 PM
Originally posted by Mikey
I don't believe he did. He must have missed it by inches though.

Mikey

Yeah, I guess he noticed he needed to alter his way! :D

Great light and the figure.

Mikey
09-12-2003, 06:54 PM
I may bump into things, but this guy doesn't look the type, and look at the size of him, would you argue..

Mikey

Andrew Rance
09-15-2003, 08:35 PM
The figures seem 'frozen' somehow - almost as if there is more life in the shop poster figures than in the pedestrians!

Mikey
09-15-2003, 08:47 PM
Hi Andrew,

Maybe he'd just frozen up to stop bumping into the tree. Or just maybe this is a problem due to using a photgraph. Here you have what I should have shown you in the first place. I'm definitely thinking of doing classes for life drawing.