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rsmith.1141
05-06-2013, 11:52 PM
From Saturday with the San Diego Plein Air Group...


http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/07-May-2013/137729-DSC_0671-7.jpg
8 x 10 pastel on Wallis paper

allydoodle
05-07-2013, 12:02 AM
Wonderful composition Randy, beautiful!

Turpintine45
05-07-2013, 12:30 AM
This is really lovely. The perfect spot!

twiglet
05-07-2013, 02:57 AM
you have a great style Randy, just love the freedom in all your work

Dedrian
05-07-2013, 10:54 AM
Great comp - nicely done!

pastel65
05-07-2013, 07:41 PM
Another great painting. Pam

artsask
05-07-2013, 08:21 PM
Lovely loose painting.

Trudi

rsmith.1141
05-08-2013, 12:06 AM
Thank you, everyone. I can't wait to go back there. So many things to paint!

jackiesimmonds
05-08-2013, 01:39 AM
very nicely painted, Randy, the pastel work looks very confident.

I would just comment that my instinct tells me that the painting is a bit unbalanced from a design point of view..... The left hand side, taking up two thirds of the image, has two similar-shaped squares with strong horizontals, split by the narrow blue horizontal shape of the sea. The right section is all about vertical elements..the vertical path and the vertical trees.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/08-May-2013/1805-path_to2_edited-1.jpg

also, I feel that the path seems to take the eye out to the right. This is an easy fix.

I would just ask...what attracted you to this part of the scene? Tall trees and curving path? large area of sky? Foreground brush? I cannot tell, from this selection, which bit appealed the most to you. does this matter, you may be saying.... I liked all of it...but the thing is, you are creating a painting, and that painting needs to have a good underlying design of shapes within the rectangle, and our eye needs to move happily around those shapes, and not get pulled out. There are various options for the tackling of this particular bit of the landscape...did you have a reason for choosing this particular format, a horizontal rectangle shape?

It often helps to turn the pic upside down and try to see the design/composition - the shapes within the rectangle - with new eyes.

If you do this and agree, then you could perhaps consider what you could do to better link the left sections the pic with the right hand area/s.

On the other hand, others like it, and if you like it as is, i will go away quietly!

Dcam
05-08-2013, 09:19 AM
Now wait a second Randy; This is not acrylic!:lol:

I really like this painting. Jackie has a couple of good points. I too was a little hesitant about the comp Randy. With all due respect to an accomplished painter.
Derek

rsmith.1141
05-08-2013, 12:53 PM
Thank you, Jackie. Sometimes an honest, constructive criticism is hard to come by and I appreciate it.

Yes, now I can see it although sometimes it seems difficult to see the forest from the trees. Or in this case, the sky from the trees. Admittedly, I was attracted to the pathway, the trees and the ocean behind so that should be my focus. Unfortunately, I'm am very easily seduced by color and all of the wonderful blue sky called to me. I may be missing the discipline gene.

Anyway, I'm thinking it should look a little more like this: Better?

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/08-May-2013/137729-DSC_0671-17.jpg

jackiesimmonds
05-08-2013, 01:13 PM
oh yes, and I am so glad you found this on your own....I did exactly the same crop on my computer, but decided to let you find your own way.

I do think there is probably more than one image you could find from your reference material, with different emphasis on different things...I agree, that sky is probably very seductive...but difficult to work with and turn into an interesting section of a bigger painting. Maybe if you walked down that path, you would find another spot where the sky would integrate better with other shapes within the rectangle.

But for now....that flash of brilliant blue beyond the lovely pathway and trees, is pretty seductive too.

J

Turpintine45
05-08-2013, 01:42 PM
Jackie point about composition is right, but I just wanted to say that the feeling I got from the first is missing from the second. The path takes you up the hill and at the top you are greeted by the wide open ocean and blue sky. You can feel the breezes and freedom as you stand on the rise, and that is what I liked about the original version. Maybe my imagination trumps my design skills! Probably why my paintings give me fits. :)

rsmith.1141
05-08-2013, 01:51 PM
Maybe my imagination trumps my design skills!

Not at all, Jen. I understand because this version does lose that openness. This is now more of an intimate landscape. The problem with the first version was just simply too much uninteresting sky. It was a kind of dead zone.

I want to recapture that original feeling so I'm thinking of taking Jackie's suggestion and try to find another angle which will express the open, breezy feeling but do it in a better composition. We'll see. Stay tuned....

jackiesimmonds
05-08-2013, 02:18 PM
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/08-May-2013/1805-torrey_pines_wide_edited-1.jpg last suggestion from me, as I am off to have a meal. Skies are usually deepest blue at their highest point above our heads, and paler at the horizon. This could stop the sky being a "dead zone" perhaps? Add a suggestion of high stratus cloud, or a few wheeling birds maybe..........

and notice the path appearing behind the grasses......

any use?

toniov
05-08-2013, 02:49 PM
From the point of the texture, there is the specific atmosphere " sur le motif ", in your painting. Good job !

rsmith.1141
05-08-2013, 03:05 PM
You bet. Thanks, Jackie. I'm going to take all of this in and see what I can come up with.

Once again, I appreciate the comments. Sometimes we paint in a vacuum and other sets of eyes are very invaluable.