View Full Version : Critique on commission
04-23-2013, 09:13 PM
I was asked to paint this church on commission. Looking for any structural critique I may have missed or any other comments. This is pretty fresh off the easel and I haven't looked everything over real well. There are some iron steps along the side I hesitate to add and will probably ask the customer whether they want them in the painting or not....
04-23-2013, 09:54 PM
This is a beautiful painting. Your talent exceeds mine but I will tell you the two things that look just a little bit off to me. The steeple windows and shape around them - I couldn't tell is this was to be a rounded structure or squared off and the second window from right just a little thinner at top. The other is the front door and half moon window above. Should the center of those two areas line up with the center point in the roof?
Just some thoughts. I am always hesitant to comment since I am a beginner but hopefully these help.
04-24-2013, 05:11 AM
Marcu, I really like the composition and you captured a very nice perspective on the main building. It diminishes well and the windows, roof line etc are all well done. Check the angle of the horizontal board on the cross with the upper edge of the square tower. They should be parallel to each other. Bob
04-24-2013, 05:44 AM
I think this is great. A few things you might want to check though:
* Like Pam, I couldn't tell whether the top structure is round or square - the perspective there gives us some mixed messages
* Again, perspective - the bottom line of the upper roof and the lines of the ledge below don't seem consistent with each other
*Perspective - the line along the right hand wall, low down above the 4 small windows - if this is below eye level it should be sloping up rather than down as it recedes
* Left hand side behind the trees - is that blue area sky? If so, it seems very low down compared with the skyline on the right hand side
* The black line around the spire looks too distracting to me - what is it?
* I think you could push the shadow areas much more, especially on the church. The left hand trees could use some shadow too.
The trees are very regular but this may be a feature of this very controlled environment. Overall, you've created a lovely calm peaceful atmosphere and I'm sure they clients will love it.
04-24-2013, 05:47 AM
I forgot to say, I like the recession in your greens - the bluish background trees on the left definitely look further away than than the foreground ones.
04-24-2013, 06:24 AM
Pretty church. I agree with the others, and especially about darkening the shadow sides of the church. Considerably. My advice is to do that with a bit of blues and greens (reflected light) splashed in.
04-24-2013, 07:22 AM
The bottom edge of the spire has bothered me. It appears to be six/eight sided from what I can see in the original picture. I had to create a light/shadow direction to help create some interest as the photo had a more direct sunlight direction that washed out most of the features.
The horizon of the lawn on the left is lower.
The viewers perspective or eye level would be at about the base of the structure, so the bottom of the foundation would be about a straight line, rather than running downward. Unfortunately, I ran out of paper at the bottom, there would have been more of a foreground to help support the perspective.
The darker line of the steeple on the left was an oops. I was following the photo without considering my light direction!
Back to the drawing board.....
Marcus; This is really nice. You got some good advice from the folks here. The little flower bed under the center tree looks a bit flat....more variation in tone? I wonder if some warm tones...hint of orange, peach, yellow could liven up the white?
Anyway....they are going to love it.
04-24-2013, 12:58 PM
Made several changes. I am afraid to push the shadow side of the structure any more as it may lose its edge with the value of the sky? The steeple structure does appear to be the shape of an octagon. There is a mound of cedar chips at the base of the arborvitae. I added a bit more blue and a touch of green in the shaded parts of the church.
04-24-2013, 01:58 PM
Wow, now that is a perspective nightmare for sure! Looks great and the added deeper shadows give it more dimension. Your client should be really pleased.
Nailed it Marcus:thumbsup:
04-24-2013, 03:12 PM
those tweaks have done well .
> it may be the photo , but the reddish foliage looks to have some nice warm touches now which bring them forward .
there appears to be an issue with the long side of the kirk on our right , that is ,
a tilt from the base out to the roofline , and the windows , etc.
a similar tilt with the spire ...
there could be endless debate to please the crowd
about whether the building is a visual reproduction or an architectural elevation ,
simple or multi-point perspective ...
> my two cents : keep it simple , make it look good .
>> use a ruler , whatever ... easy peasy . :D
04-25-2013, 03:23 AM
Oh, yes - they may have been small tweaks but they made a big difference. I especially like the reflected greens in the shadow areas and the way the left side of the steeple now catches the light.
04-25-2013, 12:14 PM
Beautiful, I and what a lot of lines to get right wow I'm not good enough to tackle something this intricate the only thing I wonder is the blue in the trees to the left, is is a pool or sky too low? Beautiful job on the church.
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