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painterlight
01-04-2013, 02:26 PM
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/04-Jan-2013/1170459-bathgris.jpg

Hey,

Here is a gris 11x14in of a painting I'm working on. I know the bather is too small ... but other than that there is another compositional problem that I can't quite put my finger on.

What could make this composition stronger?

XO

painterlight
01-04-2013, 08:42 PM
Hey. I worked on it a bit tonight. I think it is improved.

Where does your eye take you? What feels off?

Thank you kindly.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/04-Jan-2013/1170459-bathgris3.jpg

Andrewcody
01-05-2013, 06:17 PM
Composition could be improved by:
a. Not having everything placed along the back wall
b. Reducing the foreground to focus more on the back wall placements
c. Making the shadows more dramatic
Check the perspective of the right of the lower cupboard and the left of the shower curtain rail.
Regards
Andrew

Black Spot
01-07-2013, 02:46 PM
I don't mind everything at the back. The light doesn't seem to be hitting the bather as much as the bath. Odd compositions can work, but the lighting has to be exact.

painterlight
01-07-2013, 03:03 PM
thanks BS and Andrewcody

I tried to put the person at a distance and really make him secondary to the beauty of the light.

I think one of the problems here is that the tub is dark green IRL. So ... I had to approximate the values on white.

OziAfricana
01-08-2013, 05:38 AM
I think part of the compositional challenge is the shower rail that appears to be seen from a lower angle than the bathtub and the table.

painterlight
01-08-2013, 10:59 AM
I think part of the compositional challenge is the shower rail that appears to be seen from a lower angle than the bathtub and the table.

I so want to believe that as true, but upon one-millionth look (it seems) at the reference photo, there is truly that amount of space visible. Confounding (?)

AllisonR
01-08-2013, 11:53 AM
All that dead foreground floor space should be removed. You can still have the feeling of the light without it. The head is in the dead center of the painting. I think that makes it weak. Forget literally copying the reference and move the light and table over to the right, or cut off the rods on the right and move the towels over.

painterlight
01-08-2013, 01:44 PM
Moving the table over would probably be helpful. Another thing to keep in mind is that i have compensated for .5 an inch of framing around the exterior. My last painting I failed to do that and was burned badly by the composition being cropped.

Maybe I have art blinders on but I don't see that foreground space as dead. *shrug*