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par72sb
11-10-2012, 04:18 PM
Hi, I'd love to have your opinion on the composition I've been working on and off for about a month now.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/10-Nov-2012/5611-moose_700.gif

Trumper
11-11-2012, 03:19 PM
:) Love it.My eye was led straight away to the hole in the clouds in the middle
[ Looks like a moose running from right to left,is that supposed to happen? )
I have to say i saw the Moose after the bird but it is a lovely painting.

pjartwc
11-12-2012, 04:31 AM
Love the subject. Nicely painted. I agree with Trumper that the eye goes to the bird first. Then I see the tree, and finally the moose. You might want to lighten the bird. Perhaps a couple of smaller trees, lighter in value (that means branches) to the right of the bird - one taller than the bird, one shorter. Don't make them too important. It would give you a trio that would work with the tree and moose on the left.

rossmarie
11-12-2012, 12:39 PM
Lovely painting par72. One thing bothered me and now I see what it is - perspective. It's a nit pick really but I think your picture is "skewed" slightly on the canvas. Eye level appears to be about 8 feet above water level. In the distance that is near enough where the bottom of the green tree line meets the water. Transferring that eye level parallel across the canvas takes you pretty well half way up the dark green trees on the right edge of the canvas which must be some 20 feet plus above water level i.e. the far bank water edge should be nearer parallel with the bottom of the canvas (less of a tilt)

regards

Mike:thumbsup:

La_
11-13-2012, 12:25 AM
well, indeed it's nice, perfectly nice
but i'm finding it pretty stiff, not depthy enough
the far away distant orange could go way lighter, softer, less intense
the end of the evergreen point, far away, could go lighter
the small orange point/protrusion behind and parallel with the moose, softer

doing that would not only push the depth of the over all piece, it would add to the atmosphere by focusing attention on the trio that is bird, moose and foreground autumn beautiful

the dead poplar is an odd extra, a lone soldier of sorts and to help break up the monotony of perfection scattered about everywhere, i'd consider adding a fallen soldier or two ... it's just more real with deadfall, especially in an environment such as this flood plane

oh, and i'd lose the round clump in the middle of the river in front of the moose, it's a very distracting thing

just my two cents, rock on, you're obviously good with a brush and your attention to detail is admirable indeed!

la

Debzy
11-13-2012, 07:07 AM
Looking really good! I agree with all the above advice, soften the distant orange, take the round clump out and a slight perspective alteration as suggested by Mike and it is a delightful scene and work! Lovely subject and lovely colours! Cheers =)) Debs

par72sb
11-13-2012, 12:38 PM
Thank for your comments you have a lot of good ideas, i'll see what i can do to change things thanks..

Andrewcody
11-15-2012, 12:00 AM
Par
Ok nice painting, previous comments are also helpful, it does all appear static which is not so good when the eagle is in flight.

There is a glaring (to my eye) problem with the fall of light.

The Light is coming from the top right - shadow and dark cloud top left indicates this as do the reflections in the water - Shadow of the Moose is not therefore correct.

Regards
Andrew

Debzy
11-15-2012, 05:42 AM
I agree with Andrew! There is a lack of shadows generally, these would prevent the static one dimension look for sure and add depth! =)) Cheers Debs.

par72sb
11-17-2012, 07:08 PM
update: thank everyone for the help


http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/17-Nov-2012/5611-800.jpg

DebbieO
11-17-2012, 10:54 PM
You've done a wonderful job. I would love to be able to see it in person. I can imagine your details look great up close. Really gives me the sense of a crisp autumn day in the Canadian north.

I'm trying to come up with some constructive criticism but I quite like it as it is.

Trumper
11-18-2012, 05:08 AM
:) That looks a big improvement for me ,well done :)

Andrewcody
11-18-2012, 11:36 PM
Hello again Par
I am trying to work out what was changed?
Andrew

Trumper
11-19-2012, 03:43 AM
Hello again Par
I am trying to work out what was changed?
Andrew
Colours are desaturated making it alot nicer to look at [unless it's the photograph itself]

http://i399.photobucket.com/albums/pp71/Bennyscooby/moosecompare.jpg

Andrewcody
11-19-2012, 08:21 PM
I would have guessed that it was the photograph, but perhaps not
Though the Moose and the Eagle do appear a bit misty
The shadow problem still exists

in2media
11-21-2012, 09:47 AM
great painting, i love the shy.

par72sb
11-22-2012, 02:43 PM
I would have guessed that it was the photograph, but perhaps not
Though the Moose and the Eagle do appear a bit misty
The shadow problem still exists

This is more like the original I did tone down the Eagle it doesn't look like it in the photo. I add shadows to the trees and moose

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/22-Nov-2012/5611-Moose_500.jpg

Andrewcody
11-22-2012, 05:59 PM
That looks better :)
I am not a great fan of trees at the side framing the view.
Other than that nice work
Regards
Andrew