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eyecandy2
08-03-2012, 11:36 AM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/08-03-2012/114934_Bk_WtSketchSm.jpg



GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: A Long Day
Year Created:
Medium: Pencil
Surface: Paper
Dimension: 11 x 14
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
This is a pencil sketch from model which I plan to make into my next painting. We set her up to appear as a ballet dancer after a long session of practice. There is a mirrior on wall behind her head.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
All comments welcome. Will it make a good painting? Is the composition good? And any others that you can think of.

crazywoman53
08-03-2012, 03:59 PM
Nice sketch... The only thing I would warn you of is the closeness of her foot to the bottom of the canvas. Make sure you leave enough room for the frame. Looking forward to the painting!

Andrewcody
08-03-2012, 07:41 PM
A lovely sketch Phil

Andrew

La_
08-04-2012, 02:05 PM
not to complicate your workload, but full length mirrors are quite normal for dance rooms ... = )

la

Bellaskye
08-05-2012, 10:44 AM
I think this reads very well. You have captured the exhaustion of her long day. My only crits are that her ballet shoes be more defined and that her toes on both feet look off. They look a little short and stubby compared to the length of her feet. I also agree that most times in the studio the mirror goes to the floor.
I do feel this will make a wonderful painting and look forward to seeing it.

eyecandy2
08-05-2012, 11:43 AM
I'm aware that they use full lenght mirriors, but we didn't have such mirriors available. Geting the reflection correct without seeing it is beyond my skills. I'm working on the painting and will show it when I think it is complete which means when I get tired of working on it since I don't think that a painting is ever complete.

Debzy
08-06-2012, 07:28 AM
Hi Phil, I can feel her exhaustion looking at this! Very well done and can't wait to see it painted! Cheers =)) Debs.

eyecandy2
08-06-2012, 12:30 PM
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/06-Aug-2012/114934-LongDay2Sm.jpg MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/08-03-2012/114934_Bk_WtSketchSm.jpg



GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: A Long Day
Year Created:
Medium: Pencil
Surface: Paper
Dimension: 11 x 14
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
This is a pencil sketch from model which I plan to make into my next painting. We set her up to appear as a ballet dancer after a long session of practice. There is a mirrior on wall behind her head.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
All comments welcome. Will it make a good painting? Is the composition good? And any others that you can think of.

Here is my painting Started. Please critique.

K8K9SAR
08-06-2012, 07:32 PM
I really like where you are going with this! In your sketch the model's right bicep (the one along the bar) make her appear young and in the painting, the stark line makes her appear much older (what appears beneath the line looks like saggy skin). I have NEVER taken ballet, but I would have expected the shoes, when held by the ribbons would hang more vertically and would not be horizontal as shown in the painting.

eyecandy2
08-06-2012, 08:58 PM
You may be right about the shoes. I had no reference so I just guessed at how they would hang.

La_
08-06-2012, 11:00 PM
if they're just ballet slippers they could hang like that

if they're point shoes they're quite stiff and heavy at the toe and would hang vertically

these look small, pliable, like slippers

google 'em, phil and see what you ultimately prefer

la

Debzy
08-07-2012, 03:15 AM
Looking good so far Phil, I think the right forearm looks a little too long in the painting, it doesn't look as long in the drawing. The feet look much better. I don't think she is meant to be a very young ballerina is she??? =)) Cheers. Debs.

eyecandy2
08-07-2012, 09:13 AM
Thanks Debzy. I will google the slippers and see what comes up. I have already repainted them to hang vertically, but I think I have painted them too small to fit on her feet. I'm working on it. As for the arm, I think that it Ok as far as length is concerned. It is about the same length as the other arm if you were to stretch it out. I'll post the change once I think that I've got the slippers right.

eyecandy2
08-07-2012, 02:18 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/08-03-2012/114934_Bk_WtSketchSm.jpg



GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: A Long Day
Year Created:
Medium: Pencil
Surface: Paper
Dimension: 11 x 14
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
This is a pencil sketch from model which I plan to make into my next painting. We set her up to appear as a ballet dancer after a long session of practice. There is a mirrior on wall behind her head.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
All comments welcome. Will it make a good painting? Is the composition good? And any others that you can think of.

I have changed the slippers and a few other minor fixes. Would like your opinions on the changes.
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/07-Aug-2012/114934-LongDaySlipersSm.jpg

Debzy
08-07-2012, 04:38 PM
I see you have changed the shoulder, the elbow and nose as well! All improvements in my opinion! The slippers look better, but maybe a little thin due to background being almost the same colour. Maybe just make them a fraction more obvious, but otherwise it is great! Just my opinion Phil. Cheers. =)) Debs.

Andrewcody
08-07-2012, 06:20 PM
Hi Phil, I have enjoyed seeing your adjustments to the painting
I think the ballet shoes/slippers are too small but other than that you have done very well.
Regards
Andrew

eyecandy2
08-08-2012, 01:24 PM
Thank you Andrew and all the rest. I have enlarged the slippers to the point where I think they would fit. The slippers are soft so their width compresses when hanging as shown. I'll post the finished painting as soon as I can find a few moments to photograph it. When I say it is finished, I simply mean that I don't know what else to do to it. Thank you all for your help.

Debzy
08-11-2012, 05:52 AM
Hi abcdefg..... I think you need to look at page 2 of this post, Phil has made several corrections. Welcome to WC. I don't know what the Karen Millen is about? Cheers =)) Debs.

eyecandy2
08-12-2012, 12:24 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/08-03-2012/114934_Bk_WtSketchSm.jpg



GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: A Long Day
Year Created:
Medium: Pencil
Surface: Paper
Dimension: 11 x 14
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
This is a pencil sketch from model which I plan to make into my next painting. We set her up to appear as a ballet dancer after a long session of practice. There is a mirrior on wall behind her head.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
All comments welcome. Will it make a good painting? Is the composition good? And any others that you can think of.

Here is my finished version. I decided that it was finished because I didn't know what elsee to do with it. What do you think?
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/12-Aug-2012/114934-A_Long_DaySm.jpg

leisure artist
08-14-2012, 05:02 AM
This is very well done,is it in oil?The skin tones and blending are excellent..seems finished to me....Christine:)

jeanbe
08-14-2012, 09:48 AM
I think it will make a good painting--I've been thinking of doing a ballet one myself. Take a look at her right calf/lower leg--the one in the leg warmer. It looks off. The shoes hanging down look better, but they seem out of proportion to her. Most of my daughters dance shoes are pink, but i've seen some black; white, not so much. It looks good!

song_bird
08-14-2012, 01:41 PM
I think you've done a great job with this. My crit would be that the reflection of her face could still use some work. Not sure her head shape is reflected accurately either. It would also be good to include some light reflections on the mirror, I think.

I also think her waist line shape and nip is better in the original sketch.

Very nice piece and great scene to portray!