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MEBBBL
07-28-2012, 07:39 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/07-28-2012/1100612_billy_marlyewip_smaller.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Billy & Marlye at Sanibel (work-in-progress)
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 30 x 40
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
This is the second piece I have painted after a 40-year hiatus. I was an art student BFA major at Syracuse University. Then I went to work in the business world. Now that I'm retired, I'm having fun again.

This oil is painted from a photograph of my two grandchildren taken at Sanibel, Fla.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
I would appreciate any feedback you can provide.

MEBBBL
07-28-2012, 07:41 PM
Just a quick comment for critics: the shadow between the heads is not actually in the painting. It must be cast by the easel.

Debzy
07-28-2012, 09:44 PM
As you say it's a work in progress. So far I love it. Maybe some more definition and detail in the hair could give it more solidity but I will see what you do with it next! Welcome to WC and I'm glad you are back with your passion. Lovely soft work. Cheers. =)) Debs

crafor
07-29-2012, 02:09 PM
The figures appear approrpriately done. The shadows on the fabrics need a little work. Her left arm needs value changes to help round it. It's in shade, too. It seems to me his ear is a bit big. The shadow line under his left arm is too linear. Can you make it softer, follow the folds in her dress? I think his right arm and hand are too dark, or not the correct color. The perspective of the bench is off. The wide part should be nearer the viewer.
The horizontal line near the top (left) is on a slope. Is that what you intended?
My opinion only, and I'm a rank beginner.
I do hope this helps you.
Ella

TX Rose
07-30-2012, 09:13 AM
Fantastic start after such a long hiatus! Since you're still working on it, I know you will address the suggestions already received so I have only one question. Does your grandson wear glasses? Maybe it is part of the bush but you may want to clarify that. Good job so far - looking forward to watching your progress.

MEBBBL
07-30-2012, 09:46 AM
Thanks for the feedback so far. I will make corrections. Doesn't wear glasses. I'm struggling with the shadows on the skintones. The right arm is picking up shadows from the grey of the weathered wood benches nearby, but I think it looks too grey. Having the same problem with Marlye's arm. I painted out some of the shadows on her arm because I thought it was destroying the porcelain quality of her skin. Any ideas for other shading colors I might use that wouldn't do that?

The bench is correct. The horizontal line you describe is just the way the canvas is sitting on the easel.

Andrewcody
07-31-2012, 09:32 AM
Thanks for clearing up the big grey bit between the two heads.

The composition doesn't work for me sorry, I would like to see the subjects faces.

Andrew

arnieb
07-31-2012, 12:44 PM
Welcome to Wc. Composition works for me - the body language is just magic. Would suggest adding some more detail to boys face - nose & edge of mouth?:thumbsup: Arnie