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shirleya
07-28-2012, 02:09 PM
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/29-Jul-2012/29065-huge_painting.jpg



GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: need opinions-critique
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 16x20
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
This painting is about half done but need some opinions.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
My area of conce<br> in this half finished painting is the patio area at the bottom and the red bark chips. To cut down on having too big an area of bark cips I added the patio area from another photo of my friend's house. I think I have the perspective wrong. Perhaps I need to start the painting all over again??

~JMW~
07-28-2012, 02:14 PM
By any chance can you resize it to be a bit smaller?
It's so hard to really see the whole when it is so big.

Oh I see the smaller version now... :o

The chair, girl & dog are really nice, but many of the things look like they are pasted on. Especially in the large version. Maybe softer edges and some shadows under them?

I haven't worked with oils yet so i don't know if you can go back to the trees/bushes and do a bit more with them? The sunlight would be skimming across the tops and coming thru a bit in places..

The rock wall needs something to make it more 3Dish..is that a word?:o
the patio tiles , yes something in the perspective is not quite right..

shirleya
07-28-2012, 02:42 PM
row trees,rocks,sky,person is not finished-need opinion on the bark chips and patio. If I cannot fix them-then I will start all over AGAIN.:crying:

crafor
07-28-2012, 03:04 PM
To a point, fixing is good practice. It helps one to see what's wrong, and learn how to repair.
I'll take a stab at this. I'm a beginner myself, so take what I say with a grain of salt. In my opinion:
the perspective of the rug is off. I think that's the biggest problem, and should be a relatively easy fix. If you're not sure how, google it. (I'd have to, I know.)
The sizes of the blocks on the upper edge should be consistant.
The dogs body and the chair leg should be ON, of AWAY FROM the rug. As it it, they are almost, or just barely touching.
Seems to me the entire arm is a bit too long, shoulder to elbow, elbos to wrist. So the dog should be closer to the chair, maybe.
The center tree (?) and the black spot near it are distracting to me. That, and her head, are close to the half way point of the support.

If you alter the color of the patio, either far edge or near, it will help lay it down more. Becareful of shadows, too. Even though the space is small. the color variation will help.
The arm shows some variation in tone, could use more, her hair, too.
No shadows, yet.

You may do another painting, but these are worth correcting on this one, so you know how, next time.

The shapes of the chair, woman, and dog appear appropriate. The sky coloring is believable.

I hope this helps you.
Ella

~JMW~
07-28-2012, 03:22 PM
I tried to find a good/ similar image and perspective as yours for the patio stones - this might help or at least give some ideas.
http://www.contractortalk.com/f90/dry-stone-patio-wall-steps-119415/

Basically the very close stones would be largest and tapered as they go back and getting smaller.


You could make it into a grassy area or clumps of grasses with more back between them.

With watercolor & acrylics I usually try to finish the background and then work my way to the foreground. That's why I mentioned the other things too. Seems like it is simpler to finish the background and then go forward from there.

But everyone has they own style/technique.

~JMW~
07-28-2012, 03:32 PM
Oh go read thru some of the critiques on Johannes Vloothuis Live area -
Partner: WetCanvas Live! with Johannes Vloothuis -
here is the main section- it is so full of ideas, knowledge and teaches you what to look for...and how to improve your art.
http://www.wetcanvas.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=522


But I would work your background first and get it down & mostly done except highlights /details, then move forward. But again I haven't done oils, just watched a lot of Bob Ross/Buck Paulson & others on PBS shows LOL.

Debzy
07-28-2012, 09:56 PM
I would not have recognised them as red bark chips, but as you say it isn't finished. I don't have a problem with the patio area you have added, but I definitely think the chair needs to be partly on this and perhaps moved to the left a little so it isn't so central. It is a very peaceful painting, I dream to have an outlook like that from my verandah!!! Cheers =)) Debs.

song_bird
07-29-2012, 01:25 PM
I think I would prefer bark chips (looks good as red stone to me) to the patio. It's rectangular shape doesn't seem believable with the round patio. It reads more like a rug and the perspective is off. If you were to keep it, I would crop most of it out.

The rocks around the patio look more like incomplete shrubs to me. The distant trees and reflection should be more muted than the foreground.

Really like this scene and the other elements. Oh what a close to the day!

song_bird
07-29-2012, 03:30 PM
No longer can edit my post. Love the sky and right hand tree. Girl, chair and dog are great. Water, especially distant water, is believable except for the very dark reflections or objects.

Sasha_M
07-29-2012, 05:39 PM
If that was my picture, this is what I would do.

1) See the right armrest? Line up the patio so it is orientated the same way, then you've established two parallel planes. or something like that. I think in pictures, I might well choose the wrong words :)

2) Do something to stop the top of the head (great rendition of hair BTW) from lining up too much with the horizon. I call that 'co-incidence of line' but I don't know it's real name.

3) Arms are supposed to curve the other way. It's always a fine line to walk - to what extent should you change the real world to make it believable on canvas?

4) A shortcut to making an object look like it is sat on another is to choose a mid shade from the ground and use it as a shadow within the upper object.

That patio you are worried about should be half the height, or have twice as much patio in it, all squashed up. Mind you, these are choices for the artist. You can have that patio any way you please, but it would mean you'd have to make the picture less obviously realistic in various ways.