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tlmarchi
07-22-2012, 10:22 AM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/07-22-2012/171496_DSC_4197.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Road Work Ahead
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 24x48
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
Someone asked me to do a storm painting in b/w, so here it is! I'm not sure I like this painting yet. I wish I had put more curve to the to<br>ado, and I don't like my little shrubby grass things in the foreground. It's too late to fix the to<br>ado, but I'll work on the grass.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
I feel like this painting lacks something, but I'm not sure what! I put a withered tree on the hill to the left, but it was distracting so I took it out. I'm thinking about adding a rock ledge above the shadowed area there, (not man made). I want to draw the eyes more to the subject, without distractions. So, should I leave it alone, or add the rock boulders? Any other suggestions? Does the title work?

maryinasia
07-22-2012, 10:44 AM
love the tornado and the clouds

my first thought about what to add .... a cow in the air. please don't.

tlmarchi
07-22-2012, 10:48 AM
Ahaha...I like the way you think Mary!! Holstein or Angus!? ;)

crazywoman53
07-22-2012, 10:53 AM
This is an interesting concept. There are two things that grab my eye right off the bat and that is the highway creats a V shape that hurriedly takes the eye to the funnel cloud which is also pretty much a straight line and it takes the eye right up and almost out of the painting before it has time to enjoy anything on the sides or the rest of the painting. I would suggest you add a curve to change the shape of the highway and make the funnel shape a little less straight up and down. The rest of the clouds are rendered quite well and they have a lot of turbulance and emotion going on with them. Good luck with this!

tlmarchi
07-22-2012, 11:11 AM
Thanks Christine. I think if I darken the poofy area at the top of the tornado it might set it down into the canvas more, so the eye can rest.

tlmarchi
07-22-2012, 02:30 PM
I think it's finished. I darkened the cloud at the top of the tornado just slightly to bring it down in the canvas. I added rock on the left side, and more grass. I also darkened the road in areas. Yep, I think it's done!http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/22-Jul-2012/171496-DSC_4214.jpg

Sissal
07-23-2012, 12:06 AM
Agree, this is done and it looks like it may have been... fun? (Pardon the rhyme.)

tlmarchi
07-23-2012, 12:27 AM
Definitely fun! Thanks Sissal! :)

Debzy
07-23-2012, 08:43 AM
Very nice work here, I love the dark mood you have created! My only crit is that the tornado looks very close in the sky, but finishes somewhat far in the distance. Perhaps that is how they present, I have never seen one in real life. That just crosses my mind when I look at it??? Other than that, the clouds and rain are spectacular!!! Cheers Debs. =))

tlmarchi
07-24-2012, 11:19 AM
I agree with what you're saying Debzy. Darkening the top made it even shorter. I've seen a lot of tornado pics, skinny ones, fat ones, and some in between, so I guess this will be ok. Thanks so much for your perspective! Much appreciated!

La_
07-24-2012, 12:44 PM
liking this a lot - the sky is spectacular and the ground work is almost photographic, bravo!

the funnel is believable, but another without the tornado would also be grand ... with the suspense of impending doom from the storm coming ...

b&w is Fun, hey!

la

tlmarchi
07-24-2012, 11:26 PM
Impending doom is coming up next, only in color. This one was a commissioned piece for someone. Loved doing a b/w! Thanks for your comment La!

tgsloth
07-25-2012, 09:24 AM
It's a fine painting with a lot of advanced techniques. I'm convinced, however, that it would be stronger if the funnel cloud was not vertical but formed a twisted shape as it spans from clouds to ground. There are a couple of reasons for this suggestion. First, most tornado photos display a twisted shape; second such a shape is more compositionally compatible with the curved forms in the clouds and last it's a general rule that in depictions of nature, straight lines should be avoided. In similar fashion, the stretch of road is straight and if it was on a bend which curved but ultimately pointed towards the touchdown of the tornado, it would probably also add to the power of the painting.
I've been trying to ask myself if there's something you could do to more positively identify a center of interest. The "natural" coi is the touchdown point but you've got multiple areas of great contrast and wonderful forms so perhaps this painting is one where the eye needs to explore the whole canvas (and the canvas is a big 'un). Maybe a few more darks at the touchdown point would "ground" the viewer's eye better.
In conclusion, though, it's great to see you back with a new post and your buyer is sure to love this one.

tlmarchi
07-26-2012, 06:30 PM
Thank you tgsloth! I totally agree that a twist in the funnel would look better! I appreciate your critique. :)

ahughes798
07-27-2012, 06:45 PM
This is really well done, and it's all the more special because of the unusual subject matter. I am a weather geek, so I think it's extra cool. I think the funnel is fine shaped the way it is...there are plenty of photos showing fairly straight funnels, as your painting does.

Fun tornado fact...a tornado that appears to be hanging straight down and not moving is probably heading directly towards you.

fractal_medley
08-18-2012, 08:08 AM
Have you considered making a similar image, but with a wider and more violent tornado? I find the wider tornadoes to look more menacing than smaller ones, although both kinds can be very destructive.

thevaliantx
08-18-2012, 08:31 AM
This is a frightening subject, but one that deserves its place in art. In my lifetime I've had a number of dreams involving twisters. Just about two weeks ago I had a frightening one, and had started a large drawing showing what I saw as I looked out the window by the back stairs. My son right now is really into tornadoes, he and I are both what my wife calls "rubber neckers". I can see one day my son and I doing some storm chasing. :D