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Moises Menendez
07-08-2012, 11:17 AM
Hi,
I tried to post a new portrait but it does not show on the critique forum. Any ideas?
I have finished a portrait of my granddaughter Kate and my wife Peggy. this is my first doing a portrait of two persons. The portrait was taken from a picture and I used charcoal pencils on a gray toned Strathmore paper 18 x 21.
I will upload again the pictures now. I would like to have an honest and open critique for this work. Thank you.http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/08-Jul-2012/1071012-KPOriginal.jpghttp://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/08-Jul-2012/1071012-Kate__PeggyP.jpg
Moe

Moises Menendez
07-08-2012, 11:25 AM
By the way my wife was happy since the final rendering did not show any wrinkles! However, my granddaughter was not easy to achieve the likeness, but I am still working on it, so I need your help. I found out that, at least for me, charcoal does not give much room for minimal details.
Moe

Pinklady219
07-08-2012, 01:33 PM
Beautifully done, you nailed the likeness. One thing that took my eye away from their faces is Kate's neck. There seems to be a dark line on her neck that I feel needs to be blended instead of a hard edge. I can't wait to see the steps you are taking. It would be quite the learning module for me. thank you for posting these beauties.

Moises Menendez
07-08-2012, 02:36 PM
Hi,
Thank you for the nice critique. As soon as you stated it, I did some minor changes: I removed the fold in the neck, and softened the line between the neck and the jaw; also I made the neck a bit smaller(slender) and shifted the value on the left cheek so the smile would be more realistic.
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/08-Jul-2012/1071012-KPfinal.jpgWhat do you think about the white chalk on Peggy's jacket? What about the background?

Debzy
07-08-2012, 02:58 PM
What an attractive family you have Moises! And what a skill and talent for portrait you have also!!! By the way, your wife does not seem to have any wrinkles anyway, she is very beautiful and youthful looking! Just a couple of minor nits from me regarding Kate, I think her face is chubbier on the photo. Both her right cheek (viewers left) and her lower left cheek could be a fraction wider I feel, this would change the sharp angle created by the cast neck shadow, and a little more shadow on her lower neck and between the two faces to change the light slightly. Also a subtle shadow from her left (viewers right) eye and the other eye closed slightly more. Her eyes seem a little more closed in the photo than on your drawing. She also seems to have a very slight cleft in her chin, again i think her face needs widening and chubbying up a little. I do think it is a wonderful likeness and you have a natural gift here. =)) Cheers. Debs.

Moises Menendez
07-08-2012, 04:20 PM
What an attractive family you have Moises! And what a skill and talent for portrait you have also!!! By the way, your wife does not seem to have any wrinkles anyway, she is very beautiful and youthful looking! Just a couple of minor nits from me regarding Kate, I think her face is chubbier on the photo. Both her right cheek (viewers left) and her lower left cheek could be a fraction wider I feel, this would change the sharp angle created by the cast neck shadow, and a little more shadow on her lower neck and between the two faces to change the light slightly. Also a subtle shadow from her left (viewers right) eye and the other eye closed slightly more. Her eyes seem a little more closed in the photo than on your drawing. She also seems to have a very slight cleft in her chin, again i think her face needs widening and chubbying up a little. I do think it is a wonderful likeness and you have a natural gift here. =)) Cheers. Debs.

Debzy,
Thank you for the response. I will follow your advise and widen both cheeks. Working on the eyes will take me some time since I will try the cheeks first. You have to be a good artist to pick up all those subtle changes!
Thank u again.
Moe

Moises Menendez
07-08-2012, 07:13 PM
Well, after fear, sweat and a bit of bravado I made some changes to Kate. I think I got some likeness; Again, what about the white chalk on Peggy's coat?
Moehttp://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/08-Jul-2012/1071012-Kate__Peggyf.jpg

Octopus Inc.
07-08-2012, 07:47 PM
i like this... great likeness, ever so slightly stylized and your values look really really nice. Plus, i love the challenge of working with multiple subjects. Well done.

Andrewcody
07-08-2012, 08:23 PM
Moises - ok the white coat.....it looks like you used the side of the chalk (?) quickly to create the jacket, this is ok but if you look at your reference you will see that you have some interesting tone shifts on the white.
Pink and Debs advice is good and I am pleased to see that you followed both.
The drawing is really good, and the improvements made to Kate have almost captured her likeness perfectly.
I think part of your struggle with capturing her likeness might be associated with a slight change in the angle of Kate's head, if you take a line through her pupils in the photo reference and then a line through the pupils in your drawing you will see that there is an angular difference, in the photo her head is tilted slightly towards her Grandmother. A very very very small difference :) Bravo great work

Charcoal by the way can produce very fine detail, exceptionally fine with highly skilled artists.

Regards
Andrew

Moises Menendez
07-08-2012, 08:59 PM
i like this... great likeness, ever so slightly stylized and your values look really really nice. Plus, i love the challenge of working with multiple subjects. Well done.

Thank you!

Moises Menendez
07-08-2012, 09:07 PM
Moises - ok the white coat.....it looks like you used the side of the chalk (?) quickly to create the jacket, this is ok but if you look at your reference you will see that you have some interesting tone shifts on the white.
Pink and Debs advice is good and I am pleased to see that you followed both.
The drawing is really good, and the improvements made to Kate have almost captured her likeness perfectly.
I think part of your struggle with capturing her likeness might be associated with a slight change in the angle of Kate's head, if you take a line through her pupils in the photo reference and then a line through the pupils in your drawing you will see that there is an angular difference, in the photo her head is tilted slightly towards her Grandmother. A very very very small difference :) Bravo great work

Charcoal by the way can produce very fine detail, exceptionally fine with highly skilled artists.

Regards
Andrew

Andrew,
You are right, I missed the slight tilt of her head that could have made the likeness more closely, but I am learning from the experts like you, and in the future I will not make that mistake. Before I brought this drawing to this website I assumed I finished it but I was not completely satisfied with the rendition of the portrait. Fortunately with the help of people like you and the others I am learning quite a lot! Thank you again!

Andrewcody
07-08-2012, 09:25 PM
...... I am learning from the experts like you, ........

Oh dear :), I am still learning myself, after years of study and work, I am happy to say I am still learning. I think your portrait was very good, and your next will be even better, and your next after that.......

Regards

Andrew

Debzy
07-09-2012, 09:54 AM
Hi Moises, yes, Andrew is quite right, we are all always learning and I think that is why this forum / site attracts us all. We can learn so much. I also learn something new every day, not just from critiques on my work, but by reading and viewing all the others too. It is priceless tutoring really, and there is always more to do and learn. Your portrait is beautiful and the subtle changes have made great improvement, though it was already a very skilled work with close likeness. I love it and am excited to see more of your work Moises. Keep it up, exceptional standard!!! Debs. =))

Moises Menendez
07-09-2012, 10:38 AM
Hi Moises, yes, Andrew is quite right, we are all always learning and I think that is why this forum / site attracts us all. We can learn so much. I also learn something new every day, not just from critiques on my work, but by reading and viewing all the others too. It is priceless tutoring really, and there is always more to do and learn. Your portrait is beautiful and the subtle changes have made great improvement, though it was already a very skilled work with close likeness. I love it and am excited to see more of your work Moises. Keep it up, exceptional standard!!! Debs. =))

Thank you for your encouragement values!

docsaro
07-16-2012, 03:40 AM
Wonderful work is my opinion.. Hats off!! You use chalk for the white color?


Saravanan.

Moises Menendez
07-18-2012, 06:09 AM
Yes, white pastel.

Moises Menendez
07-18-2012, 06:10 AM
Wonderful work is my opinion.. Hats off!! You use chalk for the white color?


Saravanan.

Yes. White pastel pencil.