PDA

View Full Version : White Mountains


shercules
07-02-2012, 09:00 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/07-02-2012/1055572_white-mountains.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: White Mountains
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 24x30
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
From a photo taken in the White Mountains, plus various references online.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
I would just love some honest feedback.

tgsloth
07-03-2012, 07:36 AM
Nicely painted throughout; I particularly like the way you've got the forms randomized and the way you've employed relatively muted hues. Two suggestions for mprovement:
The foreground/midground is constrained by two triangles. One with the white rocks and the second with a straight, slightly ascending line which completes a triangle full of gentle grasses, just above the "rock triangle". You need to break up these artificial looking shapes by randomizing the edges of the shapes.
Second, the hills and far mountains are darker than the foreground. You want to lighten and blue objects progressively in the background so create a sense of depth and atmospheric perspective.

shercules
07-03-2012, 08:31 AM
Thank you for the feedback, interesting about the triangular shapes I did not pick up on that until you pointed it out.

Alena

crazywoman53
07-03-2012, 12:22 PM
What TG said... plus the division between your foreground lighter green grasses and the background divides the painting nearly in half. Try moving that line either up or down. Good to see you posting!

Andrewcody
07-04-2012, 12:32 AM
Plus work on the near foreground pick out more of the Heath (?) flowers.

Question - the step from the near rocks triangle to the next triangle - are we viewing from a high vantage point or not? I seem to see trunks of trees in the second triangular area yet it could also be a small step down?

If high vantage I would darken and contrast the greens in the second triangular area with some clearer definition if those are trees.

Andrew

Chromaman
07-04-2012, 02:28 AM
I think you did a good job most artist who are new to landscapes try to paint all the details they see and end up looking like a lost beginer. I dont see that here in your painting. Yes there are things you could do to improve,and all the advice here the others gave you sounds good to me. All in all, I think you have a good head for landscapes. Hope to see more of your future work :)

shercules
07-04-2012, 06:12 AM
Hello all and yes this is looking our on a vast mountain scape. So the "grasses" really are trees. I did not mention that because I was more interested in general eval. But I will also re-post this image as this one was taken with an ipad and does not clearly show the color/shadow. I did tone down the background mountains to fade out the color more and am working on blending in the darker triangular shape to soften that shape. I did not realize until looking at it critically that the mid area was such a problem for me but it does bug me now. Thank you for the compliments I am new to landscape for the most part and will continue to post.

Debzy
07-04-2012, 08:39 AM
All critiques are worth taking on board, it is worth changing a few things and I think it will be a lovely work. I like your colours in the foreground and can see that the trees are a step down from a ledge of sorts. keep working on it, will be awesome. Cheers Debs. =))

Debzy
07-04-2012, 08:42 AM
p.s. i like the sky colours, showing a gloomy-ish foreboding almost! Rain could be on the way. =)) Debs.

shercules
07-04-2012, 12:51 PM
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/04-Jul-2012/1055572-IMG_0236.jpg

Ok what I have done. And a quick note, I am using an ipad for a camera until I charge my batteries so the image is a little fuzzy and seems like the color is more intense than it really is.

toned down the background/blue.
blended in the green mid section triangle to take away from the triangular shape. The closer triangle shape I tried to diminish altogether, widened the "path" area to flatten that out a bit.
Added in distinct trees in the closer mid section.
Deepened the shadowy areas in the foreground tree section.
Deepened the shadows and made the flowers pop more in the foreground.

I like it. My tendency is to place it safe and avoid too light highlights, too dark shadows and too much definition. This I feel pushes the envelope without going overboard.

Again I would love feedback.

Thank you all for helping me.

Avena Cash
07-04-2012, 01:41 PM
You've toned down your greens around the rock, yet the middle ground greens are extremely bright and yellowy. This makes them seem they are not in the same space/come from different realities/more like a collage than a single scene.

I'm having a little bit of trouble with the composition esp. that triangle that ends exactly in the corner and generally the sense of straight-edged stripes.

Debzy
07-05-2012, 10:12 AM
Hi again, If you darken the mid ground trees but grey them a bit (from the rock), still leaving some bright highlights where the sun hits the treetops, then gradually lighten and grey them as they recede into the distance I think it will improve your work. The foreground looks awesome, love the colours and detail! The triangle can be overcome by losing the straight line of the foreground ledge. If it were mine I would bring the ledge and foliage about a third of the way in from the right front lower point almost to the large rock and create a different perimeter there. Then, with the trees below darker and greyer I think it would change that triangular pattern. Just my opinion. Great effort so far, lovely scene. Cheers. Debs. =)) :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :clap: