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Revilo
06-15-2012, 10:02 PM
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/16-Jun-2012/29065-1074282_Final_El_Capitan.jpg



GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: El Cajon Mountain
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 12X24
Allow digital alterations?: No, please :)

MY COMMENTS:
This is my first attempt at oil painting. I probably should have tried something a little smaller for my first painting.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Let me know if this belongs in a thrift store or if you think it may be saleable.

tuzigoot
06-15-2012, 11:46 PM
This is pretty good for a first try! But you don't want to sell your first piece - keep it around to mark your progress.

Revilo
06-15-2012, 11:52 PM
This is pretty good for a first try! But you don't want to sell your first piece - keep it around to mark your progress.

Good advice, Tuzigoot. I should probably churn out a few before I try to sell them. I'm working on my second now and am using the knowledge gained in doing this one of the mountain. I'd also like to try some plein air but don't think I'm quite ready yet. Soon, though.

Revilo
06-16-2012, 02:27 PM
Thanks to Dana Design for making my picture smaller. I didn't catch the part about 800 pixel max until after I had uploaded.

I'm hoping more folks will provide critique and/or comments about the painting. It is my first oil painting ever and I did lots of reading and watching of videos before starting it. Please comment if you like or dislike use of color, tonality, composition and why.

Happy Father's Day Weekend to all!

Margaretta
06-16-2012, 02:56 PM
What a great first try!:)

I really like the shape of the central 'dip' from the tall mountain to the hills on the right. Think I would have made this the most detailed focus and the immediate area around. I really like the mountain in the distance, the softness of colour there.

I think the river needs to have more dark/light contrasts beginning to end.
yes, clouds often do form patterns but your small ones are radiating from the tip of the mountain and are distracting. I think they would be better horizontal and if you extended a couple of them and cut others to make less 'busy-ness' above it would contrast better with the detail below. It is a stunning scene.

Revilo
06-16-2012, 03:05 PM
Thanks, Margaretta.

I reworked the clouds several times and finally gave up as pictured. I think the fact that there is not alot of sky room, limits what will be successful here. I agree, they are not quite right. I could rework them but have moved on to other paintings, so I think I'll let them stay for a while. I see this mountain out the picture window in my living room, so it is a familiar and inspiring subject for me.

Aires
06-16-2012, 05:28 PM
This is a remarkable painting for a first try, few do so well without some practice! You should be encouraged!! My suggestion would be to practice fadng out clouds so they appear to be wispy, like you could blow them away with a puff. There are lots of free videos on the internet on painting clouds, various techniques but the common ground is to fade them out to nothing rather than letting them be in clumps or solid looking. I also think the light should only be emphasized on the front part of the foremost mountain, not across the top clear to the back. Remembering where your light source comes from and thinking where the sun would hit on the object below is the key. I envy you such a beautiful scene from your window! And do keep your first oil painting, date it on the back as it will be an invaluable gauge to judge your progress in future years. Be proud and keep painting!!! :thumbsup:

greensyster
06-16-2012, 09:22 PM
The edge of the far mountain is too distinct. Soften it please. And best to show images without the frame here - just saying :) Very good effort for a first oil. Keep at it!

Revilo
06-16-2012, 11:55 PM
Aires, I did watch cloud videos on YouTube--I just need more practice, thanks for the suggestions and now that you've pointed out the lighting on the top left of the foremost mountain, I may have to break out the dioxazine purple and mix up some shadow to give that some modeling. I didn't catch it. Gotta be careful though or what should be a quick touch-up could develop into two days of re-painting!

Greensyster, how polite of you to say please.:cat: To which edge of the far mountain are you referring? Where it meets the sky?

Coen1
06-17-2012, 08:59 AM
I like your first oilpainting as well. Were you accustomed with painting with other paint? Anyway, looks good.
Like the foreground, the mountains in the background could have contained some more blue. The clouds are fine to me, but I keep imagining seeing them floating towards us, from the middle both to the right and the left, with associated perspective.

Revilo
06-17-2012, 04:10 PM
I like your first oilpainting as well. Were you accustomed with painting with other paint? Anyway, looks good.
Like the foreground, the mountains in the background could have contained some more blue. The clouds are fine to me, but I keep imagining seeing them floating towards us, from the middle both to the right and the left, with associated perspective.

Coen, I have painted maybe ten other paintings with acrylics, but that was years ago and in a completely different style. I enjoy the oils, because they are so changeable. If you don't like the way you painted something, there is usually a way to modify or "fix" it. The far mountains could be more blue, but I didn't want to overwhelm the painting with so much blue and green. I opted to go with "cooler" pinkish tones. With all of these suggestions, I may have to break this painting out of the frame and re-work it, but I'm already focused on another painting. I'll let it hang on my wall for a while and maybe I'll try to improve in some of the areas that have been critiqued. That's a dangerous thing because you can really mess a painting up by going overboard with corrections.

Aires
06-17-2012, 07:43 PM
You know, if I were in our shoes I would keep that first framed oil painting just as it is and use what I learned from it on the next painting. -- I keep one of my earliest oil paintings done on cheap canvas board, wouldn't think of "fixing" the things that could be improved because it serves as an excellent gauge of my progress over the years.

Have you checked out Jerry Yarnell's tchnique on painting clouds? He is such a down to earth instructor and even though he is using acrylics, the technique is the same. He demonstrates how to fade out clouds so they seem to disappear into the nether; if you haven't watched his videos, you might try those on clouds. (The demonstrations he did on his Sonara Canyons painting are one of his best on painting realistic clouds). I think it easier with oils because you have so much time to blend and stretch the oils out to make them fade into the distance. Good luck and keep painting!

Coen1
06-18-2012, 05:00 PM
Coen, I have painted maybe ten other paintings with acrylics, but that was years ago and in a completely different style. I enjoy the oils, because they are so changeable. If you don't like the way you painted something, there is usually a way to modify or "fix" it. The far mountains could be more blue, but I didn't want to overwhelm the painting with so much blue and green. I opted to go with "cooler" pinkish tones. With all of these suggestions, I may have to break this painting out of the frame and re-work it, but I'm already focused on another painting. I'll let it hang on my wall for a while and maybe I'll try to improve in some of the areas that have been critiqued. That's a dangerous thing because you can really mess a painting up by going overboard with corrections.
Or you take the crits with you to your next painting.
Yes, I like oil for the same reasons you mention. And because it allows us to paint 'wet in wet'.

eyecandy2
06-18-2012, 05:29 PM
Just a thought. You know that clouds get smaller and flatter as they become more distant. All of your are the same size and and, as a result, you lose the feeling of distance.

Spyderbabe
06-20-2012, 03:18 PM
I hope this is the first of thousands. Nice work. Now go paint another !! ;-)

bocote
06-20-2012, 03:45 PM
What a great first painting. I'm glad you shared this and don't worry about selling it; keep it. I looked at some other comments and there are some good tips there. I'll add that for future works plan out and visualize what is going to happen and work out your composition early.

have fun,

cjorgensen
06-21-2012, 01:30 AM
This is WAY better than my first painting. Great Job! :)

Andrewcody
06-21-2012, 03:06 AM
I like it.

Please, please....don't 'churn' them out
Enjoy the process, learn from each, then release them to the world

Andrew