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arnieb
06-04-2012, 01:29 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/06-04-2012/192075_mini-Patterdale_8.JPG



GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Patterdale - Cumbria
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 18x14
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
We walked up out of Patterdale in the morning to walk round the Fairfield Horseshoe and back via a different path in the afternoon.
This scene is looking down into Patterdale at start of walk.
I liked the way the headland cuts into the water.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Iím trying to get away from having a specific COI. The headland on right is meant to be the COI in this one. Does it work?
All C&C welcome. Thanks for looking Arnie

song_bird
06-04-2012, 02:02 PM
Another lovely scene. I love its soft style. Lots of atmosphere. The body of water is the COI for me.

I think the three rows of trees look too lined up. The one on the hill at left, in particular looks too regimented to me. It has an un-natural quality about it that seems off. The sky is superb, and I love the mist on the mountains.

Very beautiful series!

AllanFink1960
06-05-2012, 02:15 AM
Hey Arnie, this is another very nice postcard image. Very cool.

On the left side, about half way down you have sort of a water slide shape, like a child would slide down into the water. That and the shape below it seem kind of flat to me and it seems to fight the perspective of your nice drawing.

You have to manage your lights and darks to work the atmospheric perspective a bit better, so your darks dont make it all flat. Also your hard and soft edges are kind of all over the place. Soft edges go back in space, hard edges come forward. Lack of detail goes back in space, sharp focus details come forward in space. Again, having it all mixed together is defying the linear perspective of your nice drawing.

Also like your other painting, the linear treatment of the trees seems out of context. They are the only trees like them in the painting and they seem kind of out of place. This is one of those cases where you need more unity and less variety. Your dark tree shapes are the opposite...I would want more variety and less unity.

Just my two cents. Good work!

tgsloth
06-05-2012, 06:57 AM
Excellent crits by SB and Allan. Nothing to add.

arnieb
06-05-2012, 10:53 AM
Thanks SB and Alan, and Bob.
The last think I did before posting was to toutch up the trees on the left - afterwards I thought these are a bit too sharp as you have pointed out. I've allready taken some slices out of the dark geen trees in the middle, and thinned out the foreground trees. There is actually a large house in the middle of the dark green trees, but hidden by the foreground trees - I could introduce it if needed.
I will thin out the foreground trees and make them more varied and repost. Thanks Arnie

eyecandy2
06-05-2012, 11:14 AM
Very nice piece if you fix up all that has been said above. They have given you and excellent critique on this painting. It should be a beauty when finished.

arnieb
06-05-2012, 11:22 AM
Thanks Phil.

arnieb
06-08-2012, 10:27 AM
Some rework to include feedback. Thanks again, comments much appreciated. Arnie
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/08-Jun-2012/192075-mini-Patterdale_9.JPG