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MVLC1
06-02-2012, 07:02 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/06-02-2012/6904_614_2nd_ave_n.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: 614 S.2nd Ave
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Board
Dimension: 16
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
I want to finish this one....

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Stuck! I've had this one hanging in a closet for three years now. Don't feel it's right, but can't put my finger on it. Others seem to think it's finished, I'm not convinced. Something is wrong with it. WIDE OPEN for any and all input....

Dcam
06-02-2012, 08:23 PM
Hi Michael: I like so much about this painting, especially the foliage; sweet greens.

I think it might be the composition that needs a wee bit altering? That stairway is such a strong diagonal lead out of the picture. Foliage behind it? Also the composition is divided in half, basically by the edge of the building where the stairs begin.

Good luck,and a pleasure, Derek

GardenMaven
06-02-2012, 09:39 PM
I like it, I can see why others think it is finished. I think the large area blank area on the right over the picture is distracting. How about if you pulled one branch of the foliage up higher, or made the picture on the wall a bit taller rectangle? Good luck, Sandi

ahughes798
06-02-2012, 10:52 PM
I didn't read the wall as a wall at all...I thought it was the sky. Then I saw the picture hanging there. I was a bit confused. The rest of the picture is lovely. It's very lush and I knew it was FL the minute I saw it.

song_bird
06-02-2012, 11:19 PM
You have put a lot of good effort into this. Unfortunately, I go up the stairs to the balcony and it is not there! Very abrupt and my eye stays there confused.

Try making the door a bright color. Maybe even skip the stairs.

Debzy
06-02-2012, 11:59 PM
Hi. Yes to me, definitely the line up the centre cuts it in two, also I thought the top right was sky =)) could be a bit tricky to change these things??? The vegetation and colours are delightful. Cheers. Debs. =))

tgsloth
06-03-2012, 07:56 AM
It's a strange composition and perhaps that's what bothers you but it's painted with wonderful skill and I certainly think you could declare it finished and some buyer might really love it. Often, when we judge our own work, we get somewhat paralyzed in trying to judge it and that's when it helps to get other opinions, as you're getting on the forum. For my thoughts on changes, I would not do dramatic changes as there is an issue of "return on investment". I do endorse the suggestion to add something to the blank wall area to make sure it reads as a wall but otherwise I think you could attack the center of interest problem. You don't really know where to look in this painting and the overall lushness of the foliage (high saturation) pulls the eye all over the joint. So I offer a photoshop where the balcony is intensified to serve as COI and the rest of the painting is muted and darkened. If you like this idea, it could be easily done with glazes.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/03-Jun-2012/124239-6904_614_2nd_ave_n.jpg

MVLC1
06-03-2012, 08:36 AM
Thank you all for your input, it seems the consensus is the Composition. I agree, was just hoping for a miracle solution, which, of course there is none. In retrospect, I should have done this vertically, and included the entire balcony...So this one will get sanded down, it's on hardboard, and will recreate the painting. We will always make mistakes, but it's part of the process of learning and growing...For me, it is better to lose the invested time than to put out a piece that isn't up to our own standards, bad advertising is worse than no advertising...imo Again, thank you all.
Michael

maryinasia
06-03-2012, 09:02 AM
have you thought of just keeping the greenery, putting in sky for the buildings? and adding a seagull or something flying for a point of interest?

crazywoman53
06-03-2012, 10:23 AM
We all learn from our mistakes, which is better than not learning and repeating them over and over. I think TG has some worthwhile comments and suggestions. The other thing you might consider for the next painting is to let the viewer into the painting before starting the greenery. It is not recommended to have foliage.. trees, grass etc. growing out of the bottom of the painting. Let the viewer's eye come in and then start it. Because of the bright saturation of the green they eye struggles on not only how to get into the this painting but also how to get past the green. Do some thumbnails for the next painting and try to work some of those issues out before painting. It saves a lot of head ache down the road. Good luck and keep painting and posting..:)

Andrewcody
06-03-2012, 04:49 PM
Hi Michael, I agree with the others have said, the composition is a little awkward. The title you have given this work refers to the address, and perhaps adding some additional definition to the building might help? Allowing the Pandanus (?) in the center of the work to grow a bit would alleviate the break in the middle perhaps. I would enlarge the painting or sign on the wall, allow some of the plant foliage on the balcony to hang down through the railings to add some depth. It is all tinkering I know, and that does get back to what others have said about the composition, there are a lot of nice sections in the work but they do not seem to pull together, the plants appear to be in a strip, one one plane, and this is probably accurate to your reference but appears as a barrier to the viewer looking at the building, if you were looking at this scene you might change your viewpoint to see either the garden area or the building to better advantage (change the composition in effect). Personally I would say that if this has been hanging in a closet for 3 years then it is done, start fresh.
Andrew