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arnieb
05-28-2012, 05:19 AM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/05-28-2012/192075_mini-Skiddaw_-_5.JPG



GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Whit Beck Cumbria (xpost Landsapes)
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 18x14
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
This painting is the first in a series I decided to do following a trip to the Lake District in early March. This scene is looking across from the path up Skiddaw towards Low Rigg and High Rigg with Clough Head and Great Dodd in the distance. Position is about 1hours walk from Keswick, just into the steep part of the walk. On top we walked thru a blizzard with drifting snow.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Do the two COIs work?
All Comments appreciated. Thanks Arnie

maryinasia
05-28-2012, 07:10 AM
love the sky

Coen1
05-28-2012, 12:11 PM
Very well done. I love the atmosphere. The sky is very convincing. Are the COI's both trees? I think they have become too light. Maybe you could paint them in the same manner you did the fench. The darkgreen edge beside the water is working well. Creates a lot of depth and is working well in the composition.

Jodster
05-28-2012, 05:42 PM
I love your painting.

tstellma
05-29-2012, 08:30 AM
I would darken the left slope in the midground (together with the trees), also to get more contrast to the distant mountains.

Spyderbabe
05-29-2012, 02:57 PM
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/29-May-2012/23281-Untitled.jpg

MY PS effort is a bit garish but I agree that the left midground needs to be strengthened. It is closer to the viewer and right now it recedes back.

arnieb
05-30-2012, 04:50 AM
Thank you all for your comments and critiques. The PS illustrates the point. Hoping to get the paints ont this afternoon so will repost later. Arnie

tgsloth
05-30-2012, 07:02 AM
This is lovely, Arnie, with a singular and original look. The crits are thoughtful as well which is a tribute to the job you've done on this one. My small suggestion has to do with the top part of the sky. You largely depict the sky in a whitish and hazy look but near the top, it goes dark blue. Because of the hue and value contrast with that patch of sky, the viewer's eye is drawn to it so I think muting this area whould get you an improvement.

eyecandy2
05-30-2012, 06:33 PM
I agree with spiderbabe. It will help to step this painting up a notch.

arnieb
05-31-2012, 11:56 AM
Thank you all for your comments.
I have reworked the left in line with the suggestions and blue in sky, and taken the opportunity to 'improve' the trees. Arnie:)
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/31-May-2012/192075-mini-Skiddaw_-_6.JPG

tony1
06-01-2012, 07:57 AM
Beautiful, and the fix is very good. My eye wants to see the road a bit wider at the beginning. I may be wrong, but that's what my eye tells me.

Since no one else has mentioned it I'm probably wrong. But that's the first thing that hit me.

The rest is just great.

arnieb
06-01-2012, 08:17 AM
Thanks Tony. See what you mean about the path. The 'OK' is still visible and needs a toutch up there as well . Arnie

Spyderbabe
06-02-2012, 09:29 PM
Nice..and I see what Tony means!

crazywoman53
06-03-2012, 10:32 AM
Arnie, your work always has such a wonderfully soft feel to it. This one is very nice as well. My critique concerns the wedge shaped hill on the left where the two small trees are. You have a fast moving line on that hill and it makes me feel like you are trapping those two trees within the mass of that hill. Note how you have made the tops of them in line with the line of the hill. I would suggest you let them grow abit and bring the tops of them beyound this line. That will do two things for you. One it will break up that line and two it will bring the trees more into the foreground so that with a widened road suggested by Tony.. this painting will become more 3 dimensional. Nice job!

arnieb
06-04-2012, 01:17 PM
Thanks Tony, Kathleen and Christine.
I would agree that the tree extension and road work in the attached has improved it. Thanks Arnie:)
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/04-Jun-2012/192075-mini-Skiddaw_-_7.JPG

AllanFink1960
06-05-2012, 01:56 AM
I really love these postcard-esque landscapes you do. You seem to have a knack for them. I hope you do a lot more of them.

You guys in the UK have the same issues with diffused light from frequently overcast skies that I do in Seattle. You seem to do a really good job of finding the form of the land in spite of the lack of a strong light source. That is cool.

Your later submissions are better than the original.

I think the composition is mostly okay. Having the horizon dead center tends to make the image look like two paintings one over the other; one of the sky and one of the ground. Sometimes it helps to tip the view up a few degrees, or down a few degrees so the painting becomes either more focused on the sky, or more focused on the ground.

The switchbacks of the road are hard to see at first. The curves in the road make me wonder if another point of view could have had the S shape of the switchbacks play a much more prominent role in the design. That view would have been looking down the hill, and not at the pretty mountains and the sublime vista. They seem to be more of an afterthought, trying to be true to the real landscape.

- Same for the fence thingy and the trees. I think the image would be much stronger without them, rather than trying to integrate them. The trees are loners, in that there are not any more trees like them for miles. And the fence kind of starts and stops out of nowhere. They feel kind of out of place, sort of like drawing a cartoon like Charlie Brown or the Cat in the Hat onto a Rembrandt painting. If you do use things like that in your painting, make the shape and direction of them have a purpose and integrate them into the other lines of the design. As is, they seem "out of context".

Just a side note, if you cut the dark green shape of the valley out with scissors it would kind of make the shape of a raven wing. Once I see it that way it is hard to NOT see it. But I think that is just me.

The contrast of the sky does kind of bug me a bit. You are in the UK and it probably looked just like that, but the mountains and sky seem a bit vaguely defined. Not that that is normally a bad thing, but in THIS painting it "feels vague". So I agree with previous comments on that.

arnieb
06-05-2012, 11:17 AM
Thanks Allan for taking the time to write such a long critique. My starting point for this was this great gash in the landscape and the view of the snow on the distant riges, and the feeling looking both down into it and up and across whilst climbing the steep twisting path, and at these two old gnalled trees clinging to the edge.
When I came to the fence and looked back I new there was a decent picture in there - just needed a bit of imagination to put it all togeather.
So to me the fence and trees are not out of place - but I take your point about leaving things out.
I'm working on a couple of painting of Derwent water at the present that I chosen to strip right back - I trying to find my style. Thanks again. Arnie