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tstellma
05-23-2012, 04:18 PM
Oil on canvas, 50x70 cm, ref own sketch.
This white oblique building with several windows was made by an US-American architect, F. Gehry.
It is now a monument in Düsseldorf often photographed by tourists.

I beg for your critique on my painting as I got stuck with it.
Thank you.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/23-May-2012/199900-DSCN0551.JPG

dgford
05-24-2012, 02:55 AM
I am waiting for the crash! Those leaning buildings need to be straightened to become upright like the bridge pillars. I think they also need to be separated from the sky either by tone or by colour.
Geoff

tgsloth
05-24-2012, 07:44 AM
Fully agree with Geoff. And I mention another issue. The painting's subject is the building, yes? But the intense reds in the trees command the viewer's attention so I think you have to mute the trees and put your sharpest edges and most intense contrast into the building.

birdhs
05-24-2012, 11:24 AM
A richer color of sky will make the buildings 'whiter' and balance those nice red trees.
adding a bit more darker value to the left sides of all the buildings will also emphasize the light source and give the buildings a better atmospheric perspective.

I am not sure if it is your photography of the painting that creates such leaning or if it is your painting.
Your original photo may have had curvature that, as artists, we need to correct.

Step waaaaaay back from this, squint, and you will see the value problems, come forward a few steps and you will sense the leaning.

Having said all of that, I like the basic composition and feel it will become a really fine piece of art, keep us posted on your progress

Greg

tstellma
05-24-2012, 04:54 PM
Thanks for great critique!
According to your critique I recognized following problems:

1st: white building against light sky; I darkened the sky and contradicted reality by this; I wanted to get some contrast which I could not achieve by following nature.

2nd: the detracting outlines of the trees is running from left to right; the same with the stones and rocks at the shore. I downplayed this.

Here is my revised painting. Better or something to improve?

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/24-May-2012/199900-DSCN0553.JPG

AllanFink1960
05-25-2012, 02:33 PM
The second one is better.
My first criticism is that I cannot tell if you are serious. By that I mean, some of your drawing is more formal, and in the same image, it is whimsical. Taking the image either way would be fine, but you kind of have a mix. So are you drafting, like Frank Lloyd Wright? or being silly like Dr. Suess?

If you are wanting a more formal look, for a cityscape like this you HAVE to get out the rulers and follow the rules of linear perspective. The shapes of the windows are not lined up with vanish points and hence are defining the form of the buildings as being like lumps of marshmallow, all soft and puffy. If those buildings are not rectangular and do have rounded walls, then your have to be VERY careful with the shapes of the windows to follow the contour lines on the buildings.

Also your middle-ground has more detail than the fore-ground which is kind of a contradiction, and kind of sets the viewer farther into the image, in kind of an off balance kind of way. Use more contrast in darks and lights as the fore-ground comes forward.

Also pick a better center of interest. The biggest contrast will draw the eye, and yours is in the middle of all those oddly shaped buildings, putting the towers in the back as under emphasized. If the center of interest is the tower in the back, then put the most contrast and the most detail there.

The geometry and perspective of the bridge is also off. The farther side of the A frame should not be taller than the nearer side.

Your compositional armature is a very sturdy triangle, but I am wanting to see something in the upper left to balance it a wee bit. Not much, maybe a dark area or a cloud would do it.

On the other hand, if you are looking for more whimsy, then bend MORE of the lines, and curve more of the shapes.

I do like your color range, and the in and out of focus stuff you have going on. The subtle blues and greens give it kind of an architectural rendering kind of feel. I just think the focus needs to be managed a bit more. Use the focus/blurring to your advantage to make more of a point.

tstellma
05-29-2012, 05:14 AM
@Allan,
thanks for your profound critique.
Focus should be the oddly shaped and rounded white building in the middleground which is in opposition to the more rectangular buildings.
The background building should serve as a background foil to the white building. You are right, the windows are too much the same and they should also emphasize the shape/roundness of the building. Because of its many windows and its whiteness I thought the building would be focus enough. There is also no competition with other white "color".
I neglected the foreground somewhat as my main interest is on the middleground. Should I add detail?
I admit the bridge could be better constructed but it was also caused by my standpoint which was not favorable for the bridge. I will rethink it.
I am not sure if I should add something in the upper left. Should I (out-)balance the sturdy triangular composition?
Thank you again!