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dgford
05-21-2012, 09:23 AM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/05-21-2012/104792_Hikers_Aweigh_700.jpg



GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Hikers Aweigh
Year Created:
Medium: Watercolor
Surface: Watercolor Paper
Dimension: 19 x 13
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
Painted from two river sketches in southern NSW and the boat from a photo takem in Echuca, Vic. Bushwalkers would be taken to a more remote place and hike overland for 2 or 3 days to a new destination.
The uploaded image has lost a lot of its colour --- I will try another upload

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Composition? Watercolour handling? Anything.

dgford
05-21-2012, 09:32 AM
This image is more accurate.
Geoff

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/21-May-2012/104792-Hikers_Aweigh_700.jpg

eyecandy2
05-21-2012, 02:34 PM
Very nicely done. The only crit that I can make is that the boat might have been further to the left in the lower left third of the picture. I think that it would have made for better balance. Otherwise, very nice.

tgsloth
05-21-2012, 02:50 PM
It seems to me, Geoff, that the sky should be much lighter or I can't see how there is a near white reflection from the water. The source of the reflection must also be light. Second, I suggest that the depiction of the tree foliage could be improved. You've used a lot of circular forms which are a bit repetitive. I think you want to paint masses to represent the tree foliage and the mass forms should be more varied in shape.

crazywoman53
05-22-2012, 09:43 PM
I like the boat... but agree with TG the trees need some work. In additon to the foliage look at the trunks. They are all pretty much the same thickness... belt size.. meaning if you put a belt around them they would all wear the same belt. If you made some bigger and smaller and varied the color more it would be more interesting. I also think the reflections in the water should be more broken especially where the wake from the boat is.

Aires
05-22-2012, 10:42 PM
I like the serenity of the overall composition, a happy painting that makes the viewer feel good. From my point of view, the previous comments about the foliage in the tree tops is probably the primary critique. Another attention point for me would be that the sky and water need to at least have the same blue in the mixture so there in an integral corrrelation throughout the painting. Doesn't mean sky and water should be one blah color, just that if you use the same base to begin your mix the water will indeed be reflecting the sky. I'm always happy with critiques that can be solved with a few weaks! :) My comments are only my personal opinion, you are the judge on all counts.....

La_
05-23-2012, 12:26 AM
is it not 'anchor's away'?
so, hikers away?

just wondering

la

dgford
05-23-2012, 08:15 AM
It is "Anchors Aweigh" --- best known as the US Navy's official song. Roughly speaking, it means the anchor is on its way up. Here it is used in a fun way --- "hikers" rhyming with "anchors" and they are on their way up .

Thank you all for your comments. They are all valid and have given me much thought to be applied in future works !!! It certainly proves that when you improvise from various bits you have to be super-careful.
Geoff

Coen1
05-24-2012, 05:51 PM
Nice atmoshere in your painting. My suggestion is that you could show more of the color of the sky in the color of the water, since water has no color of itself. Hope you know what I mean.

AllanFink1960
05-24-2012, 05:58 PM
Oh look! there ARE hikers in it!
Google "atmospheric perspective". You have some atmospheric perspective going on here, but not nearly enough.
You have not massed your lights and darks enough, and hence the image looks pretty flat to me, inspite of the linear perspective you have going on.
Also there is a matter of focus...You have a boat, you have a river, and you have some hikers, you have a forested area, all competing. It seems you could recompose to emphasize one over the others. Think of your foreground/middleground/background as a stage, on which you put actors, props and scenery, and then move your "camera" (your viewer) around on that to get the best "camera angle" to make your point. Remember you can put ANYTHING ANYWHERE, so pick a good arrangement of your scene, good placement of your center of interest, and then point your viewer from the best possible location.

I do like that comment about "belt size" about the trees...very interesting way to put that. That would help your linear perspective as well as introduce some compositional variety into the work.

dgford
05-25-2012, 06:33 AM
Thank you Coen and AllanFink for your comments. It has become pretty obvious to me that if really want this picture there will have to be a lot of rethinking and redesigning before I get around to painting it again.
What a valuable forum this is !
Geoff