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jhaze
05-18-2012, 05:26 AM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/05-18-2012/978792_IMG_20120518_042427.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Déshonorer
Year Created:
Medium: Pen/Ink
Surface: Board
Dimension: 38x25
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
Painted with ink.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Contemporary nouveau. Do I need to show more depth and does the woman look sad/shamed?

Coen1
05-18-2012, 05:40 AM
I like this work very much. At first sight I thought I was looking at a painting on the wall. I love the gray shades on the background. 'She' is beautifully drawn.
Yes, the woman looks sad and ashamed. The ashamed-effect is caused by the presence of the anonymous people in the background.
To me, don't show more depth, leave it as it is!

allanom
05-18-2012, 08:30 AM
The overall figure is drawn very nicely, however there seems to be a lot of avoidance of difficult areas, i.e.: hands tucked conveniently behind torso, no facial features, no toes delineated, no nipples on the breasts, etc. Details would help with what you are trying to achieve. Maybe: downcast eyes, expressive hands, details in the breasts and so on... The figures in the back help with the theme, but they look solved too handily, being small silhouettes, rather than any kind of real dynamic presence... Hope this helps!

AllanFink1960
05-24-2012, 07:40 PM
Was this drawn from life? I agree with Allanom, in that you are avoiding the things that figure artists are measured on, hands, feet, and faces. But if you only had 10 minutes to draw the whole figure, sometimes you have to make choices.
The weakness I see is the design of the negative spaces around the figure, which will make your silhouette read better. At Disney Animation the animators would measure their drawings as successful if you could draw a silhouette of the figure and still be able to tell what it was doing. That is not always necessary for figure drawing but in this case I think it would help. If you trace the outline your figure, and include the four edges of the paper, the design would feel kind of awkward and juvenile.
To get a sad or ashamed pose, you want to have your subject cover her sensitive areas. Hands over her face, breasts, privates, and not sitting up proud but more cowering, hunched over, defensive, or closing up as in a fetal position. Think of her as defending herself and hiding, turning away from those looking at her. If she is avoiding those behind her in your judgmental crowd, have her hide from THEM.

Also the poses of the crowd could tell more of your story. More aggressive, intruding poses, more haughty, uppity, arrogant...assaulting and judgmental. Also bring them closer. In fact, you could make them a black wall of silhouette behind her, and have her shape be a cut out of the black wall of accusers.

As a character in a story, this woman seems more defiant than shamed.