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La_
05-14-2012, 03:04 PM
waiting for wensday

what's it neeed ... ?

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/14-May-2012/84648-waiting.jpg
16 x 20 oils on board
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/14-May-2012/84648-waiting_d.jpg
detail

thanks for lookin' :cat:

la

birdhs
05-14-2012, 11:08 PM
Isn't this a repost?

liked it before, still like it.

still think something is needed about that door opening, (seems unfinished)

life is good

greg

jumper
05-14-2012, 11:18 PM
I like the work. And maybe it's just me, but I think that the doorway matches the rest of the painting. Nice work.

Katie Black
05-15-2012, 12:09 AM
Hi La, ok a few ideas/suggestions:-

The arch of the doorway I think might benefit from being slightly wider at the top or even ornimental.

For some reason when I look at the brown wall to the right of the girl I want to see more red in it?

The girl is cute but I think she needs some colour somewhere in her clothing, or even a coloured belt maybe.

I love your steps, but feel there is a lot of space to the left of her, but cant think what it needs, on the other hand I guess all that space does start you wondering....which is no bad thing.

davefriend
05-15-2012, 02:33 AM
Your little girl figure is so cute and charming, great expression and for me I find the ghostly appearance of the one waiting quite interesting. Some might be distracted by it though.

The shadow she casts indicates the sun at beginning or end of the day, I vote for end of the day. I suppose that wensday is a who and not a when. So is wensday late if it is that the day is ending?

The door is, in scale, quite large which I believe has to a substantial part of the story. The door might crowd the top of the frame and the top of the door arch should show more of the door frame similar to what you did to the side of the door. I think the door needs something. Perhaps more definition like panels or some architectural suggestions of more than flat painted panel. Door knob or knocker? Perhaps a window or maybe a little peep window in the door with ornamental bars? I thought about the addition of a door entry light since that is a common feature but it might be too much.

There is just a hint of the mortar joints in the wall 'blocks' a little more definition? The door stoop seems to crowd the left side of the frame but I think that is the top riser being made more prominent by the darker wall background maybe gray up the brown and lighten the wall to nearer the tone of the steps would help?

Most of your lines have a gentle transition to them in tone and definition except at the door where you have sharpened the outlines and in doing that any irregularity appearing in straight and curved lines stand out. I think I would lessen the 'outlining' on the little girl side of the door to more like at the lower part of the door frame so as to lessen the distraction of the wavy outlining there.

As almost any of your work I am a fan and think you are very close to the finish line. Of course, you are the only one who can really define that and we will be waiting to see what happens next! It is an interesting and intriguing painting. If I walked by it in a gallery I would have to stop and take the second look.

PushingPixels
05-15-2012, 11:25 AM
my 2 cents worth, LOL. First I love the concept wut I wanted more of the subject to stand out. I did a crop but I believe you may be able to achieve somewhat the same effect by fading to a darker value out to the edges of the canvas. For what it's worth here is the crop but I like what you have done here!

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/15-May-2012/44004-84648-waiting.jpg

La_
05-15-2012, 01:50 PM
thanks guys,
yeah, it's x-posted in the open forum
you guys just tend to have a diff take on things, i value that input when i'm torn/lost
refining seems a common suggestion so i'll do that - straighter/softer edges, more wall detail/color ... and the door - am considering a door within a door within a door for depth/interest ... or just a door knocker/hinges ...

the girl, she's a little black/white girl, a half breed if you will, anticipating acceptance and looking forward to it, 'tis a big thing! lol - not sure how a viewer might actually glean that in the story, but that's the reason behind her being so small ... the challenges of youth
so far i've fixed her shoes ..o,O...

thanks again, real life is going to try to leave me alone after tonight and i'll post any managed major changes ...

la

truarts
05-16-2012, 12:00 PM
Biracial is the correct term. Half breed seems to suggest that this little girl is inferior to all other races. Half breed is right up there with octoroon and mullatto as far as being an insenstive term used degrade a person of mixed-race.

I actually love this painting very much and the purpose behind it. You have captured a great sense of anticipation in this piece. As a viewer I am expecting to see something to come thru the door, because the gaze of the little girls seems to suggest that. But as I look further into the picture I realize the corner tucked away on the right side of the painting. Then I see that although the girl is expecting her acceptance to come through the door it very well may come from around the corner much to her surprise.

Of course darks, mid-tones, and highlights could be tweaked but other than that I like the composition very much.

The vertical rhythm that you achieved with the door frame, little girl, and edge of the building is marvelous. I like the size of the girl in relation the door frame because it creates a hierarchical scale that reiterates the importance of the acceptance in this little girls life giving that she is biracial and has found it hard fitting in with either side.

I don't think you should add a door within the door. Leaving the door as it is works well in my opinion. If another door was added it would no longer have the same level of anticipation. The door closed in the composition will be a door closed to the viewer which will be less inviting and will take away the level anticipation you have created due the large open door frame.

Great painting and I hope what I wrote is of some help.

timE
05-16-2012, 12:51 PM
It needs a small toy or a ribbon or something on the ground somewhere to tell a more interesting story. As it is, it says a statement about being lonely and not fitting in, but that us too simple and has no character. If there were something lying on the ground that gave a hint about her personality, it would give the viewer a more intimate connection. That and the shading in the upper right needs to be worked on, either by defining the edge of the wall more or a general darkening.

La_
05-16-2012, 03:47 PM
too simple and has no character.

ha! brilliant!
now i want to string an anticipatory baby dragon on a leash into the depths behind her!
what a present That would be for wensday :D

la

davefriend
05-16-2012, 05:19 PM
ha! brilliant!
now i want to string an anticipatory baby dragon on a leash into the depths behind her... :D

labut don't go wild with too much smoke coming out of dragon's nostrils ...that would be too much! :eek: :D

Now to be serious, I really feel that there is a lot conveyed here, true I got it a little more when La disclosed the mix of ethnicity as an element in the composition but then I should have looked closer. The door and the figure have great presence but as was mentioned the little girls gaze is beyond the frame to something we can only imagine (viewer engagement?). Which makes the door perhaps her home's door and she is outside in full public view 'Waiting for Wensday' (her friend, or ride or?) to pick her up (?) and take her somewhere (?) for some event (more social exposure, was she invited or was she coming as a friend of a friend) ? after all she is all dressed up (am I suitable? will I be acceptable?) and apparently has places to go? When she gets there are there others like her or is she 'unique'? You could go on quite an imagination journey. It becomes an interesting puzzle to solve.

I think the minimalistic elements of the painting disguise the cornucopia of possibilities that are all included if we take the second look. This is what makes this kind of art interesting.

La ... you do understand that if you do add that dragon, my analysis will have to be revised :D

Sean T.
05-17-2012, 12:52 AM
I don't think it needs anything. It is very good and interesting. Dreamlike...Alice in Wonderland type feel.

La_
05-17-2012, 04:42 AM
oh dave, geez, and what good questions
thanks for noticing so many possibilities!
i'm thinking she's waiting for someone
the home not being hers, but hosting
an event she's been invited to
a dragon might add good comic relief to the seemingly ever present edge of dark

truarts, thank you for noticing the rhythm, it took a while to find it, you're thoughts are indeed all quite helpful = )

i expect my mood tomorrow to dictate what becomes of it ... contrast clarification/tightening ... darker vs cheerier vs fantasy vs tweaking the yellow sunset i've got going on

so many projects, so little time!

thanks so much for your eyes ..O.O.. it's quite brilliant to be able to hear them

la

truarts
05-17-2012, 02:10 PM
No problem.

bipolartist
05-17-2012, 04:34 PM
This is a very emotional piece to me. My take on it is that she feels left out- not accepted. The door not having a knob or easily accessible entrance, to me, represents being unable to move in the direction she would like. I love the ghostly appearance, and her expression is spot on for my own interpretation. Nice work.

trufflecat
05-17-2012, 07:47 PM
This is such an interesting painting. The girl is wonderful. Only suggestion I have is to add something to the door such as a door knob or knocker up high so it seems out of her reach, just like what you've implied by the relative size of door and girl.
A detail: The doorway arch could be a bit smoother on the curved part.
I look forward to more of your art!