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dreamingeye
05-06-2003, 01:04 AM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/05-06-2003/3904_fellowship2sm.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Fellowship
Year Created: 2002
Medium: Oil
Surface: Board
Dimension: 12x19
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
I need comments on: color of man standing, face of man standing-should it be fuller?, bent arm of man sitting-is it too awkward?, and general impressions/feelings/emotions evoked, if any. Want to make sure nothing is distracting too much from the piece as it is meant to have somewhat of a dramatic effect.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
I'd like to know if more color and shading would improve this piece.

pero lane
05-06-2003, 10:05 AM
In my humble opinion... First thing that caught my eye was the standing man's fingers...they're too long in proportion to size of the hand. Maybe a "little" light on the jaw area???
Other than that, I like it. Conveys an emotional presence of generosity/goodwill. So many talented people here!!

dreamingeye
05-10-2003, 02:14 PM
Oh no! Not the hand. I changed that five times! :)
I'll fix that.
The jaw...I'll try again. I've worked at making his jaw lighter than darker probably a hundred times.
Anyone else? It isn't that bad is it? ;)

Pucks soul
05-11-2003, 08:37 PM
I cannot comment on technique as I am not experienced enough, but as far as color, feeling etcetera...The colors used for each man lends interest and the juxtaposition of the blue vs. orange/red tones lend a dynamic tension. The veiling of the standing man's face makes him most mysterious, like he is keeping himself at a distance to the other man, who seems to be thankful to have his presence, regardless of the offering of the bread.

I do not know if it was intentional, but there appears to be a reflection of water on the standing man's ribs and arm, very nice effect whether deliberate or not. Nice work.

Soul

bocote
05-11-2003, 08:56 PM
Colors of men agree with me just fine. intriguing would be the best word. I dont sense any awkwardness in structures or proportions. If I wanted to see a photo of 2 guys I would have checked the photo section, but here we have 2 figures painted heavily with style, emotion, and colors. Each person owns half the painting and background - they are both caught in a circumstance of red/green or even caring and mysterious without a stretch.

The bread. its the focus here I think and one character has gone beyond his bread and peers into the other. The green character cannot escape the bread and must remain part of its light.

nice work and well spoken,

bocote

dreamingeye
05-14-2003, 12:04 AM
Here is an updated version:
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/13-May-2003/3904-fellowship2sm.jpg

I wanted the figures more unified. For some reason the standing man's mouth is too light and looks placed very low. Disregard that as I'm fixing that tonight. Maybe a few more minor changes coming, but nothing drastic. I'm thinking it is more integrated now...hopefully?

Thank you for the comments. Btw, is the standing man really appearing green? Because he should be more bluish.

:)