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Darren
05-05-2003, 11:48 AM
Well, here's an update to my debut thread last week. I had some time to work on this over the weekend (maybe too much time...) I appreciated everyone's encouragement. Something still bothers me, but I'm not sure what it is??? (Besides, all my new "real" paints and papers came and I think I'm getting too anxious to move on.)

Please critique--look at this way, if you can give me some advice to help me get better, it won't be so painful to your eyes in future posts...save yourselves all that visual discomfort!

thanks

darren

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/05-May-2003/21499-wip6.jpg

Here's a closeup of the building:

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/05-May-2003/21499-wip7.jpg

Thanks again and sorry about the color/contrast--I just haven't found the magic combination for uploading.

darren

mhimeswc
05-05-2003, 12:31 PM
I think you did a fine job on the painting. You might want to get a little advice on the perspective for the buildings and dock, from someone who knows more about such than me. They could be a little off.

Michelle

Jijo
05-05-2003, 12:32 PM
Hi Darren,
I like your subject, and your technique is fine.
IMO you can improve some details here:
Be more agressive with contrast and shadows, particulary at detailed fences for example, reinforce volumes.
COmposition; right land may get deeper in the water, that would bring house to front.
Reflections are too much literal, (fences) and get so close to bottom line. Horizont line is very near middle of page.
Go ahead, I like your style.
ALex

Nandie
05-05-2003, 02:10 PM
Darren,

The only thing giving me "visual discomfort" is that your painting seems really dark! I wonder if your scan isn't true to the real colors? Is this more like it?

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/05-May-2003/14007-darrensdock.jpg

I love what you've done! When are you going to try another?:cat:

capricorne
05-05-2003, 02:20 PM
Hi Darren,
Nice painting. I think all the 'weight' is on the right side. I think you can improve the painting by balancing with something (boat, dark cloud, mountain..) on the left side.
Keep painting!
Jan

CharM
05-05-2003, 09:32 PM
Originally posted by capricorne
Hi Darren,
Nice painting. I think all the 'weight' is on the right side. I think you can improve the painting by balancing with something (boat, dark cloud, mountain..) on the left side.
Keep painting!
Jan

That's it!!!! I keep going back and looking and Jan nailed it... You've really got something nice here and just a little balance with finish it with a bang!!!

dolors
05-06-2003, 03:29 AM
I like very much the subject and the way you painted. Please post more.

Darren
05-06-2003, 11:31 AM
Michele--thanks, sometimes I think I'm perspective-challenged

Alex--thanks for the comments. I know I'm still much too timid with contrast and shadows. I was thinking of cropping the bottom off to eliminate some of the reflections and bring the horizon down.

Nandie--you're version of the image is much closer. So far, I've not been able to get the contrast/color correct moving from my camera/monitor to the web. thanks for the correction.

Jan & CharM--you're absolutely right, it definitely needs something on the left. I'm not sure about if there's enough room for a boat, but a darker cloud might work--I'll think some more about it.

dolors--thanks for the encouragement.

It's become hard to stay focused on this one since I have all these new "toys" waiting--paper, paints, brushes...

thank you all again--you've really been helpful

darren

Joni St. Martin
05-06-2003, 01:11 PM
Darren,

I love the painting. You said it looks more like Nandie's image of the painting, which is much lighter than yours. I like both, actually. Your image looks like early morning. You have received some good suggestions, but your painting is definitely not painful to the eyes!

I look forward to your next post.

Regards,

Joni

NeerlysGal
05-06-2003, 01:28 PM
Darren,
This is great work. Good use of detail.

The white fence reflections in the water seem to perfect to me. I would crop those out.

Add some demsion in the background to bring the house forward.

I love the idea about darker cloud. Like and ensueing storm approching way off. This is really nice work.:)