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Fagan
04-28-2003, 11:59 AM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/04-28-2003/2383_haiku_dove.jpg

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/04-28-2003/2383_haiku_dove_cl.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Haiku Dove
Year Created: 2003
Medium: Watercolor
Surface: Watercolor Paper
Dimension: 6in by 8in approx
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
watercolor with Haiku verse

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
comments and critiques welcomed.

Fagan
04-29-2003, 09:31 AM
I have not had any comments on this painting. I REALLLLLY need some critiquing!! I am thinking of doing a book of verse (haiku) and paintings to go with it. So......your thoughts are very important to my perculations. I have a thick hide...I can take critiques like an adult. *LOL*

Flattwo
04-29-2003, 09:52 AM
Hi Fagan

Nice work

The Doves might also say.....This is May, lets make hay..whats the point of being a dove if you cant make love!

Flattwo

Fagan
04-29-2003, 09:57 AM
*LOL* your doves must be different in the highlands.

mpopinz
04-29-2003, 10:05 AM
Hi Fagan

I really like the painting, the doves are good, the tree limb exceptional.

I think the haiku is good too

IMHO tho, I wouldn't have just written the haiku on the painting. Maybe chosen a font or something and added it in Photoshop or some other photo imaging software. The hand printing detracts from the painting.

Fagan
04-29-2003, 10:15 AM
Mpopinz...you are correct! In the book it will be a selected typeface. *LOL* and it will not be on the painting. thanks for commenting

Carrie
04-29-2003, 10:24 AM
Bev, I'm bothered a little by the flatness of the doves. I do like their position and relationship to oneanother. There is more development of the folliage on either side The doves have nothing but a first flat wash. At the very least maybe you could rewet them and add some soft shadow on their underside. I think you should try one of those chisled calligraphy pens to write the poems... Just a thought. It will be a nice series. Keep us posted on progress of your project.

Carrie

reynolds
05-02-2003, 09:18 PM
hey bev...
haiku tends to be accompanied by very simple art that often does not have tons of variation of color or depth...it is simply moving in a style that reminds me of rosanna mac's work...she would occasionally write haiku with her work.

Wayne Gaudon
05-02-2003, 09:24 PM
perhaps the greens muted so they also reflect grey day ..

pero lane
05-03-2003, 03:34 PM
I also think the doves are a little flat in comparison to the greenery. Perhaps a little gentle shading to give them some contour & depth? Overall I like it!:)