PDA

View Full Version : Forbidden Fruit (Help!)


deevaa
05-06-2001, 07:14 PM
I've been working on one of my largest works to date. This one has been on my easel for months now.

I'm actually pretty pleased with most of the work, but I've got one problem area, around the womans breast....

<IMG SRC="http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/06-May-2001/forbiddenfruit.jpg" border=0>

here is a close up of the problem area... I'm worried it is too contrived, having the nipple peeping out... also that the breast is maybe too 'perfect'

<IMG SRC="http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/06-May-2001/closeup.jpg" border=0>

... any ideas or advice?



------------------
*doing the deevaa dance*
~*~(_/_)~*~(_\_)~*~(_/_)~*~

erico
05-06-2001, 07:37 PM
Contrived, I'm thinking, because the hair seems to be flowing unnaturally into that area--It's the only place where the hair is specificly defined, more like tentacles than hair. Perhaps further defining more of the hair. And as far as the breast being too "perfect" that's all rather subjective, no?

EricO

dornberg
05-06-2001, 07:50 PM
it seems to lack the dark line
but then, one eye is not appearing, so it wood seem to be appropriate to not have a breast if you want

deevaa
05-06-2001, 08:17 PM
I hadn't finished that area off yet which is why the dark line is missing -- I didn't want to add it if I was going to change the flow of the hair.

As for the missing eye, it is my 'style' I only ever do half a face.

------------------
*doing the deevaa dance*
~*~(_/_)~*~(_\_)~*~(_/_)~*~

m_a_r_t_i_n
05-06-2001, 08:43 PM
As far as I'm concerned that's the least of your problems, you need
to be thinking more about colour, like perhaps using some. Some broken
colour running through some of the forms and defining some of the
lines would make a vast improvement. I've done a quick edit below
to give some idea of what I mean, I think I've actually made the colour
too bright but still if you prefer to keep it like a monotone then
thats cool but I'd like to see some colour in there.

<IMG SRC="http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/06-May-2001/colour.jpg" border=0>

deevaa
05-07-2001, 02:47 AM
Martin, maybe I am being narrow minded, but I'm pretty well pleased with the yellow and purple look for this painting, I often use colour in my work, but was after a certain feel and style with the simplicity of the line and colour.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/wink.gif

[This message has been edited by deevaa (edited May 07, 2001).]

AmyH
05-07-2001, 02:59 AM
I'm not sure what you mean "contived" I mean your not going for realism. If ya just wanna stick with the yellow and not punch it up with martins suggestions, I'd say, add some contrast to the hair.

amy

TeAnne
05-07-2001, 04:19 AM
Originally posted by deevaa:
Martin, maybe I am being narrow minded, but I'm pretty well pleased with the yellow and purple look for this painting, I often use colour in my work, but was after a certain feel and style with the simplicity of the line and colour.
[This message has been edited by deevaa (edited May 07, 2001).]

I love your work http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/smile.gif I think you are doing great with the two colours. Except for the breast http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/biggrin.gif To me looks like a hand reaching .. somewhat like Erico said ... I would use the black but I would have the top strand taken away or all three flowing in the same direction as the rest of the hair. (As is now, to me, it is distracting.
Bad move asking me though LOLOL I have been accused of being too literal http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
PS whats wrong with a perfect breast? LOLOL I want two of 'em http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
Keep up the good work gf.



------------------
ART by TeAnne (http://www.ipec.net.au/teanne/TeAnneArt.html)
I must make a piece of art everyday for my own well being.

henrik
05-07-2001, 04:25 AM
Covering the nipple that way looks contrived (as erico said). The hair looks unnatural in this area. I liked martin's suggestion - perhaps not soo much the color, but that the figure popped because the background gave contrast. Have you considered darkening the background a little (keeping the same color)? Perhaps something like this...
<IMG SRC="http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/07-May-2001/forbiddenfruit-hl1.jpg" border=0>


------------------
Visit my gallery at Artistnation (http://www.artistnation.com/members/paris/henrik)

Rahat Ayub
05-07-2001, 07:00 AM
<IMG SRC="http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/07-May-2001/forbiddenfruit1.jpg" border=0>

My Points marked in the pic.

A. In fact breast has roundness, with pleasing geometry.
If you dislike color thats not problem but add some lines/shade
with lost edge. But not as flat as it is.

B. The hairs are ok. but why the lines of hair stops
at the breast. At least give some bluish touch to make it different.

C. line is ok. I want that for breast.

D. Make the nipple peeping with dirk points. Some half-shown secret.

Can you present another breast ...may be part of. It looks alone



------------------
<u>If My creativity is stopped...I am almost Dead</u>
Click my simple page (http://www.rahat-ayub.com)

Dave Carter
05-07-2001, 07:14 AM
Take it from a card carrying dirty old man that a breast can not be too perfect! It is the hair that needs a touch...perhaps some shadow to give the effect of being fluid rather than just a cut-out, similar to the shadow defining the breast.

bbbilly1326
05-07-2001, 01:42 PM
I really like the figure and especially the quality and sinuousness of your lines.

I think the "problem" with the breast is not the perfect shape, but that the nipple is set too high. In fact, I think that lowering the nipple so it peeks out between the two strands of hair would be a good solution, and make it part of the set of lines that draw the eye so nicely. I like the colors too. http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/smile.gif

Bill

------------------
Bill
"Paintings are never finished, only abandoned" (source unknown)
index.html (http://hamiltoncarroll.homestead.com)

bbbilly1326
05-07-2001, 01:56 PM
Here's my suggestion. The lines are too dark but I'm not good with the graphic drawing.

<IMG SRC="http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/07-May-2001/forbiddenfruit.jpg" border=0>

Bill

------------------
Bill
"Paintings are never finished, only abandoned" (source unknown)
index.html (http://hamiltoncarroll.homestead.com)

deevaa
05-07-2001, 10:25 PM
Originally posted by Rahat Ayub:
<IMG SRC="http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/07-May-2001/forbiddenfruit1.jpg" border=0>

My Points marked in the pic.

B. The hairs are ok. but why the lines of hair stops at the breast. At least give some bluish touch to make it different.

D. Make the nipple peeping with dirk points. Some half-shown secret.



*smile*

B: the lines stop here because I had not completed the work and didn't want to add the dark purple until I was sure I knew where I was going with the hair....

and

D: that was exactly what I wanted to achieve, having the nipple peeping out from behind the hair as a kinda tease "is it there? maybe, maybe not" thing, but again I didn't complete it as I was worried it'd be to obvious.

Thankyou for taking the time....

and everyone else... thankyou your comments are valuable, but I'm not sure where I'll go from here with this work http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/confused.gif

------------------
*doing the deevaa dance*
~*~(_/_)~*~(_\_)~*~(_/_)~*~

Impulse
05-07-2001, 11:10 PM
deeva,

the colour is very much your own expression and having seen your other work i can appreciate why you opt for the present colour scheme

i'm a little disconcerted with the hair undertaking this weird function of covering up the breast and turning funny to do it too. my vote is against it.

the breast looks fine in shape, apart from stronger values and contrast needed but you seem to intend to do that after you decide on your path

http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/smile.gif

------------------
Whatever can find room in the human heart, as emotion, idea, and purpose, whatever it is able to frame into a deed ... can constitute the many-colored content of painting. Hegel.

deevaa
06-17-2001, 10:19 PM
This one hung unfinished on my living room wall for a while.... I've recently sanded back the hair/breast area and repainted the flesh area in a white-ish colour and applied goldleaf to the backround/hair area's.

I've taken a few 'work in progress' photographs, is anyone interested in seeing them when they are developed?

ZOTMA
06-18-2001, 12:41 PM
but of course!!!!!!!!!!

llis
06-18-2001, 07:08 PM
Always!!!!!

Impulse
06-18-2001, 11:30 PM
Originally posted by deevaa
This one hung unfinished on my living room wall for a while.... I've recently sanded back the hair/breast area and repainted the flesh area in a white-ish colour and applied goldleaf to the backround/hair area's.

I've taken a few 'work in progress' photographs, is anyone interested in seeing them when they are developed?

I'd like to see the final version (the one that's hanging). BTW, how big is this?

tammy
06-19-2001, 12:08 AM
I'll leave the hair and breast thing to the experts but I did want to say that I like the color that you've given it. Martin's idea was not a bad one yet I like the color as you have it here.
Good work.

deevaa
06-19-2001, 12:16 AM
Impluse (nice to see you back!) ... this was the version hanging on the living room wall, exactly how it was when I took the first photo... totally unfinished. :p

It is now, not even a little yellow... it is more browns and reds.

I'll post progress photos as soon as I get them developed.

the canvas is 36 inches x 12 inches.

Danny
06-19-2001, 03:16 AM
I Agree About The Hair. Let It Hang Naturally. Show The Breast And dont Worry About It Looking Too Perfect. I For One Love Perfect Breast. There Wellllll Perfect!!Very Few Women Have Them Unless They Can Afford Them LMAOOOOO .The Natural Purfect Are Best.Like My 3rd Wifes. Or Was That My 4th .No It Was The Girl Who Lived With Me After The 4th Wife.Anyway There A Great Pleasure To Paint.But Don't Pull The Hair At An Un Natural Angle To Cover It.It's A Brest Is Should Be Enjoyed As A work Of Art In Itself. About The Other Changes..Don't:)It's Great As Is!!!:)

deevaa
06-19-2001, 03:52 AM
:p Danny -- my breasts aren't perfect, but my nipples are the prettiest.

and btw... I can't 'not do' the other changes... it is WAY too late...... way way way too late.

Danny
06-20-2001, 05:38 PM
OMG Sweating..:eek: LOL Well Whats Brest Without Nice Nipples Anyway.Iv;e Seen Women With Greatly Formed Brest. Then When You Get Down To It Theres No Nipples To Speak Of.I'd Rather See Smaller Breast With Perky Nipples Any Day Than Nice Breast With Flat Nipples.It's Like A Lamburgini With A Small 4 Cylinder Engine In It. A Real Disapointment.:( And If A Woman Has Both She Has A Good Plasitc Surgen.I'm More The Naturalist Type Myself.;)

deevaa
06-20-2001, 06:35 PM
and here is forbidden fruit as it is today --

I've more photos, including some taken just after applying the gold leaf... I'll post those later if anyone is interested.

The paint isn't as dense as it seems in this photo, you can actually see the gold-leaf through it.

have I killed her or made her better?

tammy
06-21-2001, 12:25 AM
I liked the other one, but I really like this one. Wow and no you have not killed her. What a difference! I don't know if anyone will agree but I think that this one stands out much much better than the other. The richness of her hair is glowing. Wonderful work.

RedShoes
06-21-2001, 10:19 AM
Both are beautiful but there's something about the first one. I like the colors in that one better. I'm probably not a good one to give an opinion though because the first one has some of my favorite colors in it.

Danny
06-21-2001, 11:46 AM
The Other Was Ok. Really Nice. But This! This Is A Work Of Art.The Hair is A Wee Bit Dark. But It Looks Like You Have A Glare From The Flash.But I Really Like This One.:clap: