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Niv
04-19-2003, 04:09 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/04-19-2003/12587_Pelican_Bay.JPG


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Pelican Bay
Year Created: 2003
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 11x14
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
I still may work a little on the pelican. As usual, the photo stinks.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
This painting feels incomplete to me. Maybe it is a compositional problem with needing something on the left to counterbalance the pelican and land. I'm not sure what is nagging me about this one but I was hoping you might! Any thoughts on how to improve?

Mary Riggs
04-19-2003, 04:22 PM
To my eye, the red railing is the focal point. It seems to dominate everything in your work. If it were mine, I would lower the railing and set the pelican on the railing as if it were peering out over it's domain.

Please take my observation "with a grain of salt" !!!

Luzie
04-19-2003, 04:57 PM
First of all this looks very painterly which I like very much.
The only thing off to me might be that the upper railing and horizon line are so similiar aligned?
But the experts here surely will be able to more observative.
The pelican seems to be fine where he is.
The gaps in the boardwalk with the blue of the water showing through are very nice and effective.

woodguy
04-19-2003, 07:21 PM
Interesting composition. Since I don't know what you want this to say, I can only comment on what I would do if I were trying to please myself. I think that I would make the cast shadows just a bit darker, on the deck and on the railing. I also would add some light to the head, just as you have done to the breast area. I think that the head needs to have more detail to separate it from the top railing and distant island. My suggestions take it in a more realistic direction, and I suspect that may not be where you want to go with this. But, you asked! Jim

Niv
04-20-2003, 02:45 PM
Mary - thanks for the thoughts. Being a horrible photographer, I managed to create a photo that over-emphasizes the red in the railing. It's darker in the actual picture.

Luzie - Thanks for the comments. I'll take another look at the top of the railing and horizon. I never thought of that aspect.

Woodguy - The value of the railing and the deck is messed up in the photo. The pelican is not and I think his (or her) head does need to be punched up. Thanks for commenting.

jerryW
04-20-2003, 04:22 PM
what a kick ass painting!
really the expression is so strong and coherent
that many rules of painting practice
should remain ignored.

bocote
04-21-2003, 12:47 AM
I'm very happy with this also. If it were mine I think I'd call it done and chalk up another great work. The forms are simple and I am very attracted to the pelican and the view of the water poking through the decking.

the only thing I can see that ruffles my feathers is the difference in the colors of the water between the railings. this might be intentional - in which case omit my thoughts.

Beautiful painting and I hope it finds a room to light up soon.

have fun,

Bocote

Niv
04-21-2003, 09:42 AM
Jerry - Wow! Thanks.

Bocote - Thanks. The change in water color between the railings was intentional - whether that was a good idea or not, I'm not sure.

Wayne Gaudon
04-21-2003, 09:46 AM
I like this very much .. the only thing I don't like is the little strip of land .. you could lose and not lose anything ..

Niv
04-21-2003, 05:09 PM
Thanks Wayne. The land was added to balance out the composition but I could also take it or leave it.