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llis
02-06-2000, 08:55 PM
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/User/2poppyapples.jpg

Bruin, Larry: Could you give me your thoughts again on this painting. I did appreciate your comments in the chat room last night but have misplaced my notes.

I would appreciate input from others as well. Thanks, Phy llis aka lizzz

bruin70
02-06-2000, 09:18 PM
llis aka lizzzz...there's clutter in your piece. you've given every item(and there are a lot of them)it's own space. they need to be grouped better. the worst offenders are the bowl and jar in front, since they are placed side by side, almost tangental, and therefore they appear flat.
the flowers also don't overlap.
i think what's bothering me the most are the apples. there's a big difference between light and dark. this breaks up the apples, so they don't have solidity. i'm guessing there's a lot of shine on the apples. tone the lights down.
in the background,,,the flower pot and jar next to it are also tangental to each other. this creates two dimensionality. overlap the two.....milt

Phyllis Rennie
02-07-2000, 08:39 PM
Hi llis! It's Phyllis, aka Phyl. Wish I'd thought of using the last half of the name--sounds so much more gentle.

I think the painting has too much overall sameness. Each object has equal importance so they compete with each other. And the colors are very much alike--the glass, vase, bowl, and covered jar are all the same blue-white color; and the background is another version of that same color.

Looks like you worked very hard on it but I think I'd consider painting out both the glass and the covered jar. Also fill some of the spaces between the poppies so they are not so even and let a couple cascade down over the right side of the vase.

TeAnne
05-05-2001, 07:44 AM
I love the reflections http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

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I must make a piece of art everyday for my own well being.

atont
05-05-2001, 08:44 AM
I like this painting. The only thing I'd have say is that the flowers don't seem natural in their arrangement. They all seem to be pointed forward, more or less. It would be better if some of the rose buds were facing the back wall. It would seem more natural. :-)

jerryW
05-05-2001, 10:33 AM
keeping this one intact I would now do others from it.
What appeals to me best are the arrangement of poppies but contrasting against the bluish ground at the right (and below), the shapes below and to the forground may be too regular to sustain interest, but the overall composition has a lot of potential(, and much of it is developed well too).
If you did a quick sketch of the best parts of it on a new canvas I bet the results would come to rank with matisse's best.

rsmak
05-05-2001, 10:37 AM
Beautiful,I think the poppies can add a litle bit more different tone to show the dimention.nice work.
rosanna

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"put some colour in my world!""
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Dave Carter
05-05-2001, 12:27 PM
Still life. Hmmm I just don't do'em because they have to be planned out well ahead. If you paint flowers in a vase the subject is static and the only way to inject the life into the painting is with colors and shadows. I find this really hard to to do! I found this painting to have a curios mix of bold and timid that reminded me of the watercolors from the Victorian Age and there is certainly nothing 'wrong' with those. If you are looking to create more excitement in the work you'll have to 'think outside the box'. For example, Why are flowers most frequently depicted in a vase? Why not just laying on the table waiting to be aranged? Is not an apple much more interesting when still on the tree than just sitting there? If you have a digital camera (even one of those cheap PC types that many of us have but seldom use) making a step by step record of all the elements of the intended composition just as if you are preparing a lesson (a lesson just for you), the exciting elements will be more aparent. You can also play with 'eyelevel' and perspective. Ever see a still-life from a bird's eyeview or even from under the table (glass)? Or viewed through a window or from the next room? Just some thoughts, Dave Carter

dornberg
05-05-2001, 12:40 PM
i like the colors very much
perhaps the top half is a little different from the bottom half
they can be different but work better if some common thread repeats, tying them together, be it repitition of color, shape or dark light

arlene
05-05-2001, 03:20 PM
<IMG SRC="http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/User/2poppyapples.jpg" border=0> <IMG SRC="http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/05-May-2001/llispoppies1.jpg" border=0>

Hi Llis,
I took some of the suggestions and added some of my own. I moved all the apples and the bowl and small vase so that they have the overlap. I also enlarged some of the poppies and moved them so some are in front of others. I also deepened the shadows on the flowers and apples etc...on the right side.

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http://arlene.artistnation.com




[This message has been edited by arlene (edited May 05, 2001).]

Phyllis Franklin
05-05-2001, 03:45 PM
Thanks y'all for all your suggestions. This was a commission piece that I was working on for someone that needed this for a sun room last year. It has long since been finished and the money spent.

I should have put up the final photo of the painting but I guess I forgot, or either it is located in another thread. I'll see if I can find it and post. I did use a lot of the suggestions and the client was very happy.

I'd like to say thanks again to Milt and Larry. You don't see Larry's comments, but he did help a great deal via e-mail and chat as did Milt. This is one thing that has really helped me grown and understand what to do and what not to do with my paintings. Looking back at old critiques really helps too.

Thanks everyone!

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Phy...llis Franklin
Create every day
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