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jackart
04-16-2003, 01:16 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/04-16-2003/14799_unt,to.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: untitled
Year Created: 2003
Medium: Acrylic
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 36
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
This is a commissioned piece, that is in progress.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
The composition, does it seem crowded? I am also having some proportion difficulties, mostly with the face, are the eyes skewed?

Rosic
04-16-2003, 01:23 PM
Such a difficult pose to work with... I must say that you have done an excellent job though. The skin tones are superb! I can't really tell about the eyes without a detailed close-up shot... can you provide one for us? I've enjoyed this so much that I'm off to visit your other works.
Rosic:clap:

andyvry
04-16-2003, 02:02 PM
this is a lovely study..........but that thigh does catch my eye a lot. It's smoothness is almost balloon like and seems 'out there on it's own'. Perhaps if there were not so many creases in the throw that the model is reclining upon, the attraction or distraction rather, would be reduced. The composition on the whole, I find attractive but I'd lose the bottom R/H corner and just continue the throw. The eyes look dangerously close to being on the skew but I rather think that it is the angle of the pose which might be casting doubts in your mind.............what it probably comes down to is whether or not you are happy to leave it.......I doubt if the client would question it......................all imho.

andy.

Luzie
04-16-2003, 02:14 PM
Wonderful!
Only the butt/thigh seems a bit too dominant, eyes look fine wo me, please let us see the finished version, I enjoyed this very much!

s-augustson
04-16-2003, 02:42 PM
Awesome! My favorite one of yours is "angelina". Love all those lines and swirls.

Shawn

jerryW
04-16-2003, 03:44 PM
I suppose I will never be employed so deliciously.

ArtyHelen
04-16-2003, 03:54 PM
WOW!
What a beautiful painting and a beautiful girl. I certainly wouldn't touch the face at all!

In fact, I wouldn't touch anything except perhaps a little suggestion of the hip socket or something... Or perhaps it's the top front of the leg that needs to dip in a bit, opposite the bum?

Any other slight, and it is very slight, distortion going on only adds to its beauty. This is gorgeous, and I hope you are being paid well!

Is 36" the horizontal measurement or the vertical?

Helen

bocote
04-16-2003, 04:28 PM
very nice work so far. you specifically asked about the eyes and I think they are perfect except for one little corner. For the most part there really isnt much deap shading, but this little part of the eye marked with arrows seems a little dark to me.
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/16-Apr-2003/21291-eye.jpg

please share it again when you have it done.


have fun,

Bocote

designditz
04-16-2003, 04:38 PM
The whole scene is excellent... no prob with the eyes..it all flows nicely!..the only thing i might adjust is her far breast seems really flat compared to the other one?...i know she is laying back so it does flatten out but maybe just a hint more fullness...all in all gorgeous! i'm sure they will love it!! :)

Lines
04-17-2003, 05:28 AM
If you check out the nose and mouth, then this is a full on
face and it is held exactly upright. Everything else tells
me the face is turned about an eighth to a quarter to the
right. Also I suspect the head was slightly tilted when you
copied the eyes. Are her eyes above or below
yours? If level, then her eyes should be level, assuming
her eyes and nose are true. Imagine you tied a ribbon
over her eyes, then this either looks like a line if it is on
the same level as you, or an elipse if above or below. The
eyes should be on that elipse.
In spite of all this talk, I did not notice any of this until I read
your comments.
The skin tone is just a little too 'polished'. I wouldn't know how
to do it myself, but if the skin were very very slightly 'matted',
then it would look more realistic.
Love the model.:-)

nikau
04-17-2003, 05:35 AM
Great painting, though the "left thigh" facing us does not seem right. There should be a "muscular curve" before it hits the Pelvic region! Good composition!:)

jackart
04-17-2003, 01:03 PM
Thank you everybody, this has been an invaluable help. Don't know why, but sometimes I get these big doubts....
Bernie: thanks, I dont own a digi camera, and had to rely on a friend, so no close up right now.
Andyvry: You are right about the hip area, (as some others have said as well) and a little texture or shadow might help. Now that I look, it might be the cast shadow underneath the buttox as well. I did not see it until you said something, but that is actually one of my guitars, and not part of the painting in the lower r/h corner- sorry about the lousy photo, (or photo skills!)
Luzie: will do, when finished
Shawn: thanks!
Bryan: you were right about the eye, I have changed it a bit, looks much better!
Thanks!!!