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bocote
04-15-2003, 01:53 AM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/04-15-2003/21291_leaves.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: spring and fall
Year Created: 2003
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 30x36
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
I tried to start with a horrid composition and make a rather dull pile of leaves and some sparce daffodils look a little exciting. The paint was applied quite thick. Took about 35 hours to paint this from pictures, backyard leaves, and make believe leaves.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
any criticism would be appreciated. does the poor composition work? even though none of the daffodils are facing toward the viewer does it still hold up?

qaziasif
04-15-2003, 02:32 AM
excellent work.. i really appreciate ur hardwork. I think this composition is perfect but look at the upper right corner i feel the object, may be leaf is missing its basic shape.. but really its hardwark which is very much visible through ur art.

jerryW
04-15-2003, 06:21 AM
your fair minded treatment of detail and high ideals for composition make this an historical record of personal
philosophy and a lovely painting.
something may occur later that resolves within the democracy of logic that have birthed this. It seems that each bit of color is there at the agreement of every other bit and idea.
in the end it is still light hearted,
no matter how much MENTAL goes into it you need to have FUN.
(the FUNdaMENTAL rule of painting)

andyvry
04-15-2003, 06:26 AM
from a compositional point of view, there is not a lot to hold my attention. the 'guardians' of the painting would be better suited showing either 3/4 faces or full frontal, like they were 'in conversation' or whatever. The one on the left should be facing into the painting, a profile maybe, but at the moment it is failing in its duty to stop the eye just wandering out the frame - in fact it looks like its leaving anyway,,,, in a huge sulk......the painting is definitely worth 'saving' if that's the right word. the leaves are quite something.

andy........well you did ask.

Wayne Gaudon
04-15-2003, 07:45 AM
very detailed but no strong point of interest and the color doesn't seem to carry the highs and lows .. very uniform.
Rendering is super .. composition weak .. color above average but not eye grabbing .. of course this is opinion and mine is based on my likes and dislikes ..

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/15-Apr-2003/5946-eaves.jpg

Paintonbrush
04-15-2003, 08:10 PM
I have to say that I am amazed by this....its wild and real and fascinating.......ok, so any one who has 35 hours of patience gets a 5 star......
;-0

bocote
04-16-2003, 01:29 AM
Paintonbrush: thanks; I strained to get this done despite knowing that it wasn't turning out as well as I would have liked.

Wayne G: I agree with you completely on the lacking of a strong point and after thinking about it I feel thats the major problem with it. Its too late now, but next piece I do like this will definetely have a better contrast between elevations and something to look at. As the painting is it just looks like all background and there should be a foci... perhaps a nice frog or turtle or something... or both!

andyvry: Thanks for your input. I dont know why I didnt put a daffodil in that was facing the viewer in some way. The painting looks like a piece of wall paper that was cut out. many thanks for your comment.

jerryW: curious. thanks

qaziasif: thank you. I agree with you there completely; I dont know what that is up there. looks like some leaf colored trash bag or something. Thats probably the only thing I can (or am going to) change in the painting.

bottleman
04-16-2003, 02:17 AM
Removing the left daffodil completely might create a more prominent and interesting relationship between the two remaining daffodils. This relationship might even be strong enough to hold the viewer within the canvas.

bocote
04-16-2003, 03:18 AM
genius! you've got the plan Bottleman.

I did some digital alterations and decided that I should remove the entire lower left corner and replace with pine needles... attached picture is just a rough outline. thanks Bottleman.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/16-Apr-2003/21291-leaves2.jpg

jerryW
04-16-2003, 09:54 AM
better with pine needles
the dark patch helps a lot.

s-augustson
04-16-2003, 10:14 AM
I wish I could be that committed to a painting. I would have had to quit after painting 5 of those leaves. My attention span doesn't last long. Another problem when it comes to my art :)

Shawn

andyvry
04-16-2003, 11:55 AM
Originally posted by s-augustson
I wish I could be that committed to a painting. I would have had to quit after painting 5 of those leaves. My attention span doesn't last long. Another problem when it comes to my art :)

Shawn

SHAWN ! hehehe............:D :p

what a difference bocote.......like this a lot better.

andy.